Why are all black people fast? because all the slow ones are in jail.

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Even dyslexic people attend church and pray to Dog.

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An IRS agent named Harold Crick finds that he has the ability to hear a narrator comment on every moment of his life. He later becomes institutionalized in the Schizophrenic ward.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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My therapist says that I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We'll see about that!

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What did the two prostitute say to each other? I dont know, i wasn't there

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why did the girl fall off the swing? her dad threw a refrigerator jlr

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How long did the Hundred Years' War last? 116 years.

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What happened to Jillian when she walked out the door? She got hit by a bus A. Knock knock B. Whos there? A. Not Jillian

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So a man walks into a bar... ouch

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There is a famous joke, "What's black and white and re(a)d all over? A newspaper!" However, this is not featured on this website. Why? Because this is anti-joke.com, not joke.com - you moron

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LET'S PLAY CARDS SHUFFLE THE DECK *person with a deck-patio* no please don't

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Cancer.

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees? They're really good at it

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whats polish and black a polish black person

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She's a woman

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Why did the fat man get thrown out of an all you can eat buffet? He molested a waitress

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Daniel is a fag

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Kinky = using a feather Perverted = using the whole chicken Weird = using chicken bones Downright disgusting = all of the above, plus a cat

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How many people live in China? At least ten.

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autsim

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Your momma is so old, she qualifies for multiple financial aid programs provided by the government.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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