What did one bulbasaur say to one squirtle? Well, first off, pokemon are virtual animals created solely for the enjoyment of entertaining japanese children and causing seizure episodes. This fictional creation then migrated to an american tv market, still maintaining their superficial existence while continuing to promote slavery and the use of round balls that capture your problems and propagate winning through random ball throwing. They are fake, and as they are fake, the bulbasaur said "we are fake"

One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

The Charlotte Bobcats

What do you call a man with multiple sexual partners? Well, first you strongly urge him to get tested for any contagious and potentially dangerous STD's that could have been transmitted from one partner's genitalia to another person's genitalia which could have very well been he himself. They could be life threatening. Oh, and call him by his first name.

That awkward moment when Amish mingle has a member

Knock Knock Whose there? Yes I am a convicted child molester and by state law I must go door-to-door explaining the many cruel and vigorous crimes I have committed.

A bear walks in a restaurant and asks for a table for one. Meanwhile, everyone else in the restaurant is freaking out because there is a bear in there

Why can't you lie to atoms? Because they make up everything!

what do u say when u meet somebody new hello

Why can't february march Because april may

How do you leave a jackass in suspense? I'll tell you later.

A Higgs Boson walks into a church, and the priest says, "We don't allow Higgs Boson's in here," and the Higgs Boson says, "But I thought Christianity promised acceptance to everyone who believes."

Your tell your girlfriend to make you a sandwich, she actually makes one for you.

Why did the boy wear glasses? Because he had bad eyesight.

What is rainbow-colored, makes no sounds, and smells like a banana? A rainbow-colored banana

If pro is the oppisite of con what is the oppiste of progress Congress

what did the food critic say when he was handed a snickers? I'm allergic to peanut butter

What's worse than shitting whilst fucking? Losing your eye! Kelvin Yang

What's your star sign? Cancer. Oh you're gonna die. AWKWARD.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He has no legs.

What did the man with the gun say to the man without the gun? I have a gun

Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

How are baseball and basketball the same. They aren't football.

How do you get a blonde to tell time? By asking her what time is it.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...