Why couldn't the little kid get to sleep? His dog was on fire

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What junk did she have in her trunk? Mcdonalds because shes fat as hell.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Why did the chicken cross the road? His wife and children had just been struck by a moving vehicle traveling at approximately 45 miles per hour trying to cross the same road. He ran across the road to comfort his dying wife and two children as they took their final breaths. The chicken was also not really a chicken but a middle-aged man who had recently been laid off his job and diagnosed wiuth an incureable disease.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

A black man walks into a bar. "Whoops, that's not the Weed shop!"

thumb_up thumb_down -37

What did the blonde say when she saw a box of cheerios? "Lovely, I think I'll have some of these for breakfast today. The wholegrain will be good for me."

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Atheism

thumb_up thumb_down -37

What do you call a black guy driving a plane? A terrorist.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

How did the black guy get out of prison? Further evidence in the case was found which proved that the black guy was actually donating blood to a local blood drive for children with leukemia.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Q:When a T- Rex walks into your house what does it mean? A: Your on pot, T-rex's are extinct

thumb_up thumb_down -37

why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

thumb_up thumb_down -37

What's more absurd than a goldfish astronaut? A jew that cares about palestinians

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Your mother's breasts sag so low that the late great impressionist artist Salvador Dali mistook them for clocks.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

You know what sucks ? A vacuum.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Hi my names Sarah and I love baby's. I don't think I could eat a whole one though

thumb_up thumb_down -37

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and an astronaut? One walks on the moon and the other has sex with little boys.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

HEY.... HEY YOU..... YEA YOU! IM TALKING TO YOU!!! yolo

thumb_up thumb_down -37

live or die you decide to late time to die

thumb_up thumb_down -39

How many filthy niggers does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, because I killed off all the filthy niggers.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Q: What did the monkey say to the parrot? A: I like trains so feed me bananas!

thumb_up thumb_down -39

your mom is so fat that she should probably try a deit in the neer future

thumb_up thumb_down -39

what in the world is smarter than the world's smartest man? Nothing he is the smartest man.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

One day a woman wrote a letter to her husband whom was at war. He received it, read it, and was happy to know she was thinking of him.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

"What did one Chinese say to each other" "I don't speak chinese.......!"

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops