A man wearing dark sunglasses walks into a convenience store with a dog on a leash. He goes to the middle of the store, and he starts swinging the dog around over his head by the leash. The store clerk comes over and asks, "what are you doing?" The man replies, "Ajiohskdcojqpowuskncvlkzb" Not knowing what else to do, the clerk calls 911. It turns out the man's name is Ruprict, and he has escaped from the local mental institution. A police officer shortly arrives to bring Ruprict back to the hospital.

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Q: What do you call four black guys hanging in a barn? A: Farm tools

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Whats brown and drives people around? A cab driver of south asian decent. Finding a job that alligns with their qualifications and experience is not always possible, so they take up menial jobs to survive and provide for their family.

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What's more greasy than grease? Kevin's hair

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Justin Bieber walks into a bar. <>

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Roses are red, Violets are violet, If you think Violets are blue you're an idiot because they're called violets for a reason.

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What do you call a black man on a bike? A hard-working individual who found a steady job and earned enough money to buy a bicycle of his own which he rides to and from his job because he is healthy, doesn't like to waste money on gas, and doesn't like the pollution automobiles put into the air. By Darragh Hamilton

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Two construction workers are working on the final floor of what will soon be the worlds tallest building. The first turns to the other and says: "Hey tom can you throw me a three quarters hex wrench? i think my set is metric." the second guy turns around and says: "yea, here you go."

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple ? Finding an apple in your worm !!! ... Wait, what ?

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A man recently set the world record for jumping into a foot of water from 50 feet high. Luckily, this made the clean-up rather simple.

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whats the same about a red crayon and a blue crayon? there both the same color except for the blue one

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Ask me what my name is. What's your name. My name is Jeff.

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What do you call a secret agent that lives in a bottle of washing up liquid? Bubble-0-7

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Q: What's 1 + 1? A: I don't know, I am an African who was bought up in the famine my mother died, my father starved. I have to sell myself to feed my sisters. I never went to school and drink my urine every second day because I have no water.

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Two fish are in a tank. One asks the other, "How do you drive this thing?"

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

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Your mamma so jobless, that she needs a job! ~T.J.C.S.

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what do jason kidd and michael jackson have in common? they are both actually black

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Why did the chicken cross the road? If you don't know the answer by now, there's something wrong with you.

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What do Vladimir Putin and a snake have in common? A central nervous system, to name but one of the many biological similarities.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who? Doctor Watson - I'm here to see your little sister who is currently terminally ill and every second is of vital importance. Therefore this exchange of words is only worsening the already terrible situation that we find ourselves in. Please open the door.

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Q: What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: "Where's my tractor?"

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What do you call someone who kills a black person? A cop

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Excuse me. Oh, would you mind hitting the 15th floor button for me? Thanks.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops