when the zombie apocolypse comes what do you do? you die

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Long joke Your such a downey

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What is a black, yellow like liquid that contains carbon dioxide, usually kept in a can, and is not coke? Pepsi.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme But this one doesn't

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Q: How did Helen Keller cross the street? A: She walked.

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knock knock. who's there? just open. just open who? you're really dumb aren't you

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Trust me, you are that kind of girl, and no, you are not nerdy, you are open and down to ground, while your beautiful exterior means a lot to me (I am a man, its the way I am), I would never have wanted to talk to you or even less visit you with a pack (make it five packs) of condoms, if you where the awkward Asperger kind of gal, so how old are you, like seriously?

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can the real slim shady please stand up? no. there is a slim shady in all of us, so we will all stand up.

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A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. His family is struggling financially and his children are severely malnourished. If he wasn't an alcoholic, he could afford healthcare for his family and move into a better neighborhood. But he's not, so they will die a long, painful death.

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What do you get when you cross an owl and a bungee cord? Well, contrary to popular belief, it is NOT Master Pain's (Betty's) "butt". You would most likely get a bungee jumping owl.

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Wait! hundred billions!

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why did the cow go to the theater? to see the new movies pick one and have a good time.

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Why did the teacher give the little boy a golden star? He was a Jew and it was in Germany during the 1940's

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hohifooncuiohicvsdhn ioshd

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How do you get a Mother out of a tree? Ask them to come down, because it is really not socially acceptable for a responsible adult to be climbing trees.

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2 guys walk into a bar but the third one has known about what happens to the third guy but since he is reading this in a newspaper and his unaware of his surroundings he walks into the bar anyway and feels very foolish.

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2 Priests and a Monk walk into a bar, All 3 were stabbed to death in a bar fight.

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Why did the Muslim kill a gay guy? Because the gay guy was threatening his family with a gun.

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Why did a 36 year old Asian man stop in the middle of raping someone A: He realized that what he was doing was immoral and that it could scar someone for the rest of there lives and that he could serve a sentence of up to 35 years which would mean he would miss out on the special offers that QVC has to offer during this time

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Why did the black guy stop drinking his kool-aid? He learned of its high sugar content and began to drink a glass of water as a healthier option.

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why do jews like weed? A) because they are used to being baked.

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Why couldn't the blonde have children? She had pelvic inflammatory disease.

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What did the black guy get on the SATs? Who knows, that isn't a specific person

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Q-if you are what you eat ,does that make you cannibal? A- yes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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