How many skilled union workers does it take to change a light bulb? One.

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Imagine yourself in a box with no windows and no doors. How do you get out? Stop imagining.

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What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A pharmacist.

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What did your Little brother get for Christmas? Lice.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. ;)

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Dave:Hi Mark:Hi

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A watch and a pair of socks.

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Yo mama so fat, she was diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes and has been instructed by her physician to exercise and regularly monitor her blood glucose levels.

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A circus clown riding the cutest miniture Shetland pony both fall over a cliff and die.

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An apple a day keeps the doctor away? What about the vampires?

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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Why did Hitler try to take over the world? Hitler wanted to spread the Nazi (National Socialism) idea, He also wanted to destroy the Jews(Christian and non-Christian) and many other groups of people using the prevailing scientific idea of the day eugenics and survival of the fittest

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Who more attractive then you? No one your ugly as pooh.

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What's green and has wheels? The Holocaust. I lied about everything.

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Boy: Knock Knock. Man: Who's there? Boy: Doctor. Man: Doctor Who? Boy: Haha! The man then invites the boy into his home, where he gives him a glass of lemonade laced with Ruphalyn. He then proceeds to take off the boy's clothes and rape him. When the boy awakes, the man starts to fear for the police discovering the boy in his home, so he kills the boy and cuts off his limbs and head, and buries the body parts in a hole in his backyard.

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Guess what day it is!!! Sunday? Monday? Tuesday? Wednesday? Thursday? Friday? Saturday? IT'S HUMPDAY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Why did the male propagate the female? Because he was drugged. Slyly, this foxy female had slipped the male the date rape drug and a dangerous amount of viagra. During intercourse, the male ripped a gaping hole in the female's stomach and killed her. He woke up confused inside a dead stinking corpse.

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how do u make a plummer cry? Kill his children.... :)

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What's the difference between Miley Cyrus and a dead baby? One is a popular singer and the other is a dead baby.

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Why do men not get cullulite? Because it's ugly.

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Q: A black man, A Mexican, And a Asian are in a car. Who Is Driving? A: The Cop.

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Why was Carlos fired? Because he stole and smelled of weed.

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Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. An impossible thing because he can't walk.

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Why did the fat kid rob a pizza shop? Because he happened to like pizza.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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