how fast does it take to kill a blonde? Give me a gun and i will find out

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Q:Did you know Helen Keller had a tree house? A: Neither did she

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It's good to be a scientist and great to be a biologist. However, it is never okay to be a scientologist.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Charles Grodin. Charles Grodin who? Exactly.

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Why did the black man fall off the building? The building was one of the twin towers and the event 9/11 was currently happening and he saw one of the planes coming at him so he decided to jump to his misery instead because he thought it will hurt less, also he thought that if he waited for the plane to hit him there is a possibility that one of the wings may hit him right on the neck and his head will get chopped off and he wanted to die with his body completely attached.

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You wanna know what's totally out of this world? The moon.

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How do you stop your golf ball from hitting a goose? You dont.

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Two muffins are in an oven. They procede to bake at 325 degrees for thirty minutes.

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What did the fish say when he swam into the wall? DAM!

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A professor of literature asked me, "Young Sir, why are you burning those books?" I replied, "Because I need a fire to cremate the bones of your 3 sisters that I violently raped and murdered" He smirked in a witty and arrogant fashion, until raising his head and saying, "Bond, James Bond" He continued to massage his dick with his own pubic hairs before collapsing and dying

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the seat next to you? A: Whatever his name happens to be.

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My heart is in my hands. Call an ambulance.

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what's white, sits around all day, and sucks on tits? a baby.

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Why did greg come to America? Because he wanted visit the states

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Whats worse than bitting into a apple and finding a worm? Being the worm who just lost nearly half his whole house because some jerk decided to eat an apple on the ground, whom after eating the apple destroyed the worms self-esteem by making the comparison to the worse thing possible. Or being raped by Zeus in the form of a worm.

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Your mama so stupid, she put 2 quarters in her ears and said she was istening to Fiftycent

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there once was a black man who played basketball

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Roses are red violets are blue I'm a bitch and so are u????????

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What's red and the size of a packet of crisps? A Miscarriage

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What did the cat say to the dog? Meow

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There's two bears in a bathtub, One looks at the other and says "hey can you pass the soap?" the other bear says "what do i look like a light bulb?"

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What is spiky and opens up wide? The Mouth…what were you thinking you perv?

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Your mum's so fat, she should probably consult her local GP to insure she doesn't die of a cardiac arrest.

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Optimus Prime: "GIVE ME YOUR FACE!" Shockwave: "Illogical. I have no face." Optimus Prime: "Then GIVE ME YOUR EYE!" *RIPP*

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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