A guy walks into a bar, unfortunately for him, he walked in on a huge bar fight and managed to get the hell knocked out of him as he entered the door.

Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 20 years later he would gamble away his life savings and then go onto live a lonely and unfulfilled life.

Why did Timmy fall off his swing? The Holocaust

A man told this joke once... it wasn't funny.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are polemicists.

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse responds "I have cancer"

What did the black guy say to the japanese ninja with super fighting skills? Nothing, because he neck was sliced before he could.

Steve, what do I write on a 3946 if more than two vehicles were involved?

What do you call a black pilot? A pilot... are you racist?

Today's Horoscope for Cancer: You have Cancer.

Horse walks into a bar. Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from. So, you should probably leave.

Your mother is so stupid that she claimed the pole ran into her.

you cant spell slaughter withought laughter

what did the banana say to the orange? nothing because a banana is a fruit

Knock, knock Who's there? Doctor Doctor who?

Why didn't the door open? Because it was locked

Q: why are black people good at basketball A: god you racist bastard

Why did the girl kill herself? she was depressed.

What does a man want more than sex? Nothing.

Q: What did the boy with no arms or lags get for christmas? A: He dosent now he cant open them.

How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They sent her to her room without dinner.

A: What did the Orange say to the Mango? B: Sup Hommie?! A: Wtf.... (awkwardly walks away)

why is andreas making a pizza? since he dosent get laid he likes the feeling of the sauce stinging on his dick

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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