Why did the white guy die because he had cancer

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What do you do with a dog that has no legs? Take him to the vet and have him put to sleep, it's the only humane thing to do.

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Why is Suzie at the bottom of the cliff? Because I pushed her. Knock knock Who's there? Not Suzie.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill, to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after. Up Jack got, and home did trot, as fast as he could caper, to old Dame Dob, who proceeded to get Jill convicted of attempted murder, as well as several millions of dollars for pain and suffering.

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How do you keep a black man from hanging around your tree? You cut the rope.

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What did the mother say to her child that was washing the dishes? "Sweep the floor."

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how do you piss off a dyslexic? give him a crossword puzzle

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What is the worst part about eating a vegetable? Eating the wheelchair too.

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Whats black, white, and Asian all at the same time? A panda

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goats are like mushrooms, if you shoot a duck, im scared of toasters

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Why was 6 afraid of 7 ? Cuz he was black.

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CHORGLUND

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Why did we invade Afghanistan? Because we hate arabs.

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When someone calls me ugly, I run up and hug them, because I know how tough life is for the visually impaired.

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Why did the woman cross the road? Trick question, she didn't because she was in the kitchen.

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A man is hungry so he gets on his coat and shouts : "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!". His wife says not to because the police say the rapist 'Eggman' is out again. He says he will be very careful. On his way he hears 'They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggmen-" and the man shouts: "AND I AM THE WAlRUS, SO GET THE HECK OUTTA MY FACE OR I WILL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" The Eggman and the man found two more people from Liverpool and formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band broke up.

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What do you call a black man that is wearing a suit? Whatever his name happens to be

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In Kentucky...your grandmother rapes you.

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A train poops its pants.

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What is the difference between tea pot and shinkansen? shinkansen is very quick train and tea pot is traditional piece of dishes..

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How do you fit an elephant inside your car?: Starve it to death, then chop it in pieces.

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A man walks into the doctor's office and says "I'm not feeling to good doc." and the doctor says "Thats because you have a fatal brain tumor and probably don't have too long to live."

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How did the guy who's been in his mothers basement for 20 years lose his virginity? He didn't, that's where his mother hid his body.

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Why couldn't the woman give her sister a present? Because she just got eaten by zombies.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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