What do you call someone with no body and no nose? Nobody nose.

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Why are black people so good at basketball? Because they practise.

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A Black guy and a Mexican guy walk into the bar. The bar tender offers to buy them a round of drinks because he can tell they had a hard day at the office.

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Why can't Ray Charles drive? Because he's dead.

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How did the plumber fix the leaky faucet? Trick question. The plumber is actually an iguana.

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Q:what do you call someone who spends 7 hours a day playing video games? A: Someone who takes pride and joy from gaming

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My heart is in my hands. Call an ambulance.

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You walk into a plane full of Arabs talking about how much they hate America. You arrive at your destination enlightened about the problems in American society

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dont be afraid of lard squeezing cause really its just me teasing

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What did the cat say to the dog? Meow

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knock knok Who's there The police, I regret to inform you your son was killed in a horrific traffic accident

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what's the worst way to fall asleep? sad. it makes you lose sleep.

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What do you call a fish with no I's Animal cruelty

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What do you call 1 + 1 = 2? i like boobs

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a cop wrote most of these anti-jokes O.o

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your mom is so stupid that she is suffering from down's syndrome, and has a shorter life expectancy than normal people.

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Three construction workers, an Italian guy, a Mexican guy, and a American guy are sitting on top of a building eating lunch. The Italian is tired of eating meatballs, the Mexican is eating a burrito, and the American is eating a cheeseburger. They are all fed up with eating the same lunch every day. The next day they all jump off the building for unrelated reasons. It is a tragedy and their families mourn the loss.

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People really hate it when sentenses don't end the way elephants wear hats

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What did the girl say to the boy? Hi.

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A three-legged prostitute, a coal miner, and R. Kelly walk into an all-midget rendition of Stravinsky's Rite of Spring. The miner has a heart attack and dies. The concubine and the vocalist do nothing to help.

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I can still remember the last words my brother said before he kicked the bucket. "Hey you guys,how far do you think I can kick this bucket?"

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whats worse than a wussy times two a wusst times three i like boobs u basterds suck a dick

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Sidney Crosby walks into a bar. Except its a metal bar like a pole so he gets another concussion.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting shot in the knee several times and bleeding to a slow and painful death.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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