Santa and a smart blonde jump of a cliff. Who gets to the ground first? Neither, they don't exist.

whats short blonde and speaks spanish? my spanish teacher Mrs. Inman

okay i know you read this far but this is the turning point

Why did the chicken cross the road. It's head was cut off and it didn't know where it was

Q. Why did the car break dance? A. I dont know!

Rush Limbaugh

a dog and a duck went out for a meal they both ordered lobster and enjoyed the night.

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a sociopathic murderer.

im gay

Q: What do you call an exact duplicate of Homer Simpson who's been enhanced with numerous special powers and a strength-boosting inducer among other beneficial additions? A: A mobidly overweigth individual who hasn't realized what the phrase, "Go on a diet", even denotes/implies.

How many babies does it take to paint a house? It depends on how hard you throw them.

What's got four legs but can't move by itself? A chair.

Why doesn't Susie have a bike? She has no arms. Who pushed Johnny off a cliff? Definitely not Susie.

robin, get in the car.

What's orange and sounds like a parrot? An orange parrot.

Q: How do you win the tour defrance if you have one nut? A: Hard work and dedication.

Why did the Jew pick up the dollar on the side of the road? Because he dropped it.

Q:What did the midget say to the toll booth operator? A: Is your family dead too?

Pandas Everywhere!!!

roses are red... violets are blue ..... Cancer

why did u put your iphone in the blender?!?!? because i wanted to make apple juice..

Half empty = half full Therefore Half (empty) = half (full) empty= full Half empty

Netflix and chill

Patriarchy.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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