Why do bears go to school on Sunday's? They don't, bears don't go to school.

Q: Men are always very careful to have penises. Why don't women care enough to have them? A: That's a very good question.

Q. What do you say when a baby gets hit by a car? A. Lol fail

Why did the chair break? The person that sat in it was over weight

Knock Knock Who’s there? Your son Your son who? Your son who’s sick of having a paranoid mother who won’t just open the door!

Lad: Whats that smell Girl: Nothing Lad: That is right nothing now get into the kitchen!

When life throws you lemons, duck.

what did the bull say when it got shot? nothing... its a bull

If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

What do you call a muslim flying a plane? A pilot. WOW your racist!

How do you know a baby is dead ? When the dog plays with it more!

Why did the man starve to death? He had no food.

What do you call a Harry Beaver? A beaver with lots of hair.

If God gives you lemons you find a new God

your mum

Why would Bill Clinton like Jess so much? Cause he has a vagina, smells like shit, and has cankles.

A man wearing a 'What Would Jesus Do' bracelet and a livestrong bracelet goes up to a blind kid and rubs his eyes and the kid can see. The kid was was not used to the bright lights and wandered into traffic, was hit by a car and killed instantly.

i should have been sad when my flashlight died.... but i was delighted.

A man walks into a bar. Itwas an metal bar so the man was hurt.

what do you get a man with no arms or legs for his birthday? a quick, painless death.

Roses are Red Violets are Blue I'm Schizophrenic And so am I.

How many candles did Johnny blow out on his birthday cake? The same number of candles which corresponds to his age.

Why did the Christian man dislike gays? Because Christianity views being gay as a sin, and as a follower of the religion he decided he did not like gays.

Whats big, round and orange? A big round orange

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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