What did the virgin say to the car salesmen? Hello, I'm really interested in buying a car today.

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a jewish duck trips over a series of metal corckswcrews and proceeds to die of ADHD the answer is 4

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Hazel and Gus are two teenagers who share an acerbic wit, a disdain for the conventional, and a love that sweeps them on a journey. Their relationship is all the more miraculous given that Hazel's other constant companion is an oxygen tank, Gus jokes about his prosthetic leg, and they met and fell in love at a cancer support group.

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Make it? Sodium levels? Means he is eating right? Its not ADHD, the chatter is his way of coping with pain and what I believe is PTSD (dont tell him, he would get mad, if he gets that blank stare while chatting a lot its like he is back in the past for a while, please distract him out of it, but dont tell him anything about that. Give him what he wants, its a secret but Nero masters hypnosis, and he pretty much knows himself to a point far beyond others know themselves, he can sense lies and knows how others are feeling just by the movement of their pupils, their eyes, their breath, the tonality of their voice and lots of things like that, I think thats some sort of hypnosis as well, he uses ritalin in order to focus and shut off pain receptors mentally and stuff I don't understand, I am sure he would not ask for it unless he knew he could take it, he has literally performed surgery on himself before, the kind that would kill anyone unless under strong anesthetics. (removed bullets from the back of his skull, people say its just a myth, but I was there so I know its true) Please trust me on this as weird as it might sound.

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Why did the black man have drugs? He had a very serious medical condition that involved putting himself at a high risk at any time without proper medications, therefore he requires drugs to sustain him and hopefully prevent him from dying. To immediately believe that he was in possession of illegal drugs is a very racist assumption that is representative of one of the numerous racial problems that faces our society today.

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A train conducter conducts goes at 60mph, when he goes under a bridge he goes at 52mph. When he goes over a hill he goes at 47mph. If he goes under 3 bridges and over 6 hills what did the conductors mother eat for dinner that night. Nothing, after many months of suffering she died from Huntington's disease.

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Why did the gay guy come out of the closet? He finally found the shirt he was looking for

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why cant stevie wonder read? because hes black

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-How do you wake up Lady Gaga? -Poke her face

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What's the difference between a dead dog and a dead black man on the road? One's a dog and one is a man, but more importantly the differences shouldn't be noted in a miserable occasion such as this as both are unfortunate tragedies. Also, one has a big dick.

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Statistics show That people with the most birthdays Live the longest

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Ask me if I am a Truck Are You a Truck No

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Why did the stoner visit anti-joke.com? Because he was bored, and probably kinda high.

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What's the difference between a black guy and an asian. They come from different race groups.

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What did the strawberry say to the grape? Nothing, inanimate objects can't use verbal communication.

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What do the snake and the bird have in common? They can both fly, except for the snake...

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If a white person and black person have a baby, what colour is the baby? Grey

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roses are red violets are blue What smells like poo? Your waffle's blue

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so a boy walks into a bar he was underage and escorted out.

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no

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If Chuck Norris were to be hit by a train he would die

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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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what's white and bumpy? Milk. But it's not bumpy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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