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One day, a mother was talking with her three daughters. "Mommy," the first one asked, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we took you home, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Mommy," the second one said, "Why did you name me Rose?" "Because when we took you home, a rose petal fell on your head." "MMMMBBBWWAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!" the third daughter cried. She was born with severe cognitive damage and is incapable of coherent speech.

What look likes a rocket, uses Mc Donalds wifi and takes off from Fairlawns Avenue Kevins House not instigating it was all Taggart

Why did the rapper carry an umbrella? Because it was raining.

Q: What do you call cheese that's not your own? A: Someone else's cheese

Why did the chicken cross the road? His wife and children had just been struck by a moving vehicle traveling at approximately 45 miles per hour trying to cross the same road. He ran across the road to comfort his dying wife and two children as they took their final breaths. The chicken was also not really a chicken but a middle-aged man who had recently been laid off his job and diagnosed wiuth an incureable disease.

A pigeon walks into a bar. Someone left the door opened.

What happens when a man runs naked into a bank? He doesn't get service because he isn't wearing shoes or a shirt

Jake snow steals ideas he doesn't make them up

"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "GESTAPO! AUFMACHEN!!!"

why was the pineapple bullied at school? cuz it was a pineapple duhhhhhhh

What is black and white and red all over? Zebra domestic violence isn't funny.

Jake: When was war of 1812? Harry: 1812 Jake: Oh.

How many Mexicans does it take to screw a lightbulb? None, they couldn't cross the border.

What do you get when you multiply two by three? Six.

Why did Jimmy's mom cry? She got stabbed in the arm and was suffering while bleeding to death.

Why was 7 afraid of 6? It saw what 6 and 9 do when they're together.

Sex education in Texas.

What do you call a boy with no arms and no legs that gets stepped on a lot? Mat.

why did the computer monitor stop working? Becasue it has a date with a slice of cheese.

Q: Why did Hitler Kill himself? A: Because his wife couldn't match the pleasure of his massive Nazi Orgies

A sloth walked into the dentists he was confused

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Knock knock. Who's there? Chet. Chet who? I probably shouldn't be giving you my name, just get in the fucking van...

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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