Why did hellen keller's dog kill itself? You would to if your name was, AIIEEEEIUUUUHGH!

What's the funniest thing about this website? Everyone thinks their fucking hilarious because they keep making jokes about Sally who has no goddamn arms and little kids with terminal cancer

whats worse then falling out of a tree? Cancer.

Q. What is a deaf man's favorite song? A. Nothing, because he can not hear.

This is not a joke.... It is mind rape.

djkldfnblfnbofgb

How many blonds douse it take to change a light bulb I dont know it hasn't happened yet

What's up? Well it all depends on your current position, if you are in the center of the Earth then everything would be up. In space there is no gravity so nothing is up. If you don't understand this the sky is up.

What's worse than swing a dead baby by a rope? Stopping it with a shovel.

Q:What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Getting raped by a giant scorpion

What did the ginger say to god? Nothing it has no soul

What happened to the boy that got raped? He later died of depression

A horse shits himself SHITLESS!

What do you get when you combine a baby and a chainsaw? 30 years to to life in prison.

what's the difference between a duck?

Why did the sperm cross the road? It didn't, as sperm cells have tails not legs, and are therefore incapable of crossing roads.

Hey diddle diddle, the cat and the fiddle, the cow jumped over the salamander, macaroni and cheese.

How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

What would you call Kenny Dalgleish if he was black? Mr Dalgleish in a formal setting, Kenny in an informal one.

I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

What happens when an alien goes out in the rain It gets wet

Q:How do u kill a butcher A: Kill its family

What do you call a black man approaching your car in uniform whose name happens to be Darius? Officer Darius.

How do you steal candy from a baby? You ask nicely.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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