A Muslim walks into a bomb shop. Unfortunately for the bomb shop owner, the Muslim was a police officer. He proceeded to arrest the owner and the employees of the store, as it turned out that the selling of these particular explosive devices were illegal. They ended up in jail, and justice was served.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, the holocaust didn't actually happen, besides I hate jews

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What do you call a man with no arms and legs, lying outside of your house? An ambulance, he's clearly in trouble.

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Massie is a fatass

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What's the difference between gun and penis? A child doesn't start to cry when gun shoots in its mouth.

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your mama so old, shes dead.

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Why was Helen Keller deaf, blind, and a woman? She was a bad driver.

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Q: What's worse than falling off a mountain A: Falling off a mountain into a pile of spikes

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Knock Knock Who's there??? Your mom

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I like school Said no one ever.

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A jew walks into a church. he wishes to be touched by God.

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Whats worse than your house on fire? an orphanage catching on fire. Whats wosre than an orphanage catching on fire? A bunny farm catching on fire.

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A midget and a jew walk into a bar. i forget the rest of the joke but your motheris a tramp.

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What did one Black college student say to another? What is your major?

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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Tim and Jim are Telling Jokes Tim: Knock Knock ... Jim does not respond because Tim has a mental disorder causing him to believe in hypothetical doors and thus ignores him so that he does not upset his friend

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Have you seen stevie wonders house? neither has he.

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What did the doctor tell his patient? Unfortunately you have cancer.

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Q: How do you keep a carnival fish for more than a week? A: Place it in formaldehyde when you get home

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What is the funniest joke in the world? Written.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender asks "why the long face?" the horse, confused, looks at the bartender with a bewildered look, neighs loudly, and runs out of the bar knocking over a few tables and chares.

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Sad reality is that, you have a tab open just for ponies don't you?

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why didn't Lebron James give me a fourth quarter?...he forgot his wallet at home and didn't have any spare change.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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