How do you know when you have had too much to drink? When you ran over 7 pedestrians and are lying in the back of a police vehicle

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Three Jews get on a train to Stockholm. How many get off at Stockholm. None. The train went straight to Auschwitz.

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What do you call an Arab driving a Plane? A Pilot.

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What do you call a pig that just took a bath? Clean!

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What did the boy call the man that kicked the cat? "Sad twat"

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What do you call an animal that is blue, fluffy and lives in the arctic? I don't know and that's why I'm asking you.

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Q) What did the Hobo get for Xmas? A) Nothing

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How do you rescue a fat girl that's stuck under a car? With a pickaxe and a donkey.

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Thumbs up if u dont have aids:)

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Why did the man throw a clock? In retaliation for his wife having thrown a vase at him. The couple has a history of domestic violence. More than one friend has suggested counselling.

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Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar.... Homosexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual pandas just have piece? Man 1: Were the hell did you come from? Homosexual Panda: My mother's uterus same as you, retard.

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what has genitial warts? me

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That awkward momment when there is no Candy in the Van... <3

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Why did the horse stop running? His master beat him to death.

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What's the difference between Elisabeth Fritzl and Pope John Paul II? Pope John Paul II wasn't imprisoned and raped continuously over a 24 year period in a horrific act of cruelty by his father

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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What do you call a bird that can't fly? A dead bird

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Have you seen stevie wonders new piano? No Well it's really nice

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Why could'nt Susie talk? The mafia cut out her tounge

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Knock Knock Who's there? Sally. I don't know anyone by that name, please go away.

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A Polish man walks into a bar and says, "Co za asy..."

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yo mama is so ugly she walked by a mirror and looked at her reflection cuz thats what mirrors do

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How many seeds does a watermelon have? None. It is seedless.

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Why did the stoner cross the road? He didn't. He was stoned

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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