How do you kill a zombie? You don't. Zombies aren't real.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse does not reply as it is a horse and horses cannot speak. The bartender realises his stupid mistake and calls the farm the horse came from. The horse is taken back to the farm and fed some hay. The bartender carries on living his life and then dies of natural causes at a very old age.

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minorities

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I read my Uncle an anti-joke. He is still wondering why it made no sense to him.

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You know what happened when I kissed a girl? I enjoyed it so immensely that I received an erection.

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If pro is the oppisite of con what is the oppiste of progress Congress

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c======3

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If the blue man lives in the blue house, and the yellow man lives in the yellow house, who lives in the white house? The blue man. He has made a good living with a high salary and has enough money to afford two houses.

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John: hey wats up? Bob: gas prices!

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What's worse than stepping on a piece of gum? A clown following you around all day throwing toothbrushes at you. ___ Zertop™

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sally

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Doctor: Why the long face? Elephant Man: That's not my face that's a tumor.

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Want to hear a joke? Women's rights.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a baby in your closet.

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why did hitler hate the jews... because the nazies had to pay the gas bill

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What does a penguin and a watermelon have in common? They all come from Earth.

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Why did the the chicken cross the road? So he wouldn't be late for his annual check up at the clinic across the street.

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Q : How many babies do you need to paint a wall A : It depends on how hard you throw

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What's red and bad for your teeth A brick

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A Brick

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a blond goes into a taxi, the driver asks where to my friend , the blond says her desired location, gets droped off and trips, falls on her head, suffers major injuries, dies,weeks later the taxi driver drove the family to the funeral, they walk out and one of of them trips and gets back up...

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A man is walking down the street when he stumbles upon a school, every school in the area had an American flag outside it, so he sees the flag and atop this flag a man is sitting and he doesn’t look comfortable. Next to the flag pole is a chair with a flag attached to it and the wind is as strong low down. So he looks at the man and says "Sir I think you may be using those wrong." The man on the flagpole says "why?" So he says well this chair is flat and made for sitting and this flag pole has a draw string for the flag. The man atop the flag pole says "I'm sure good will come of this…..im sure." the man says "What good could possibly come of this!" and the man on top of the flag pole looks at him and says "Later……………..you can tell this story to your friends and disappoint them when they find out theirs no punchline."

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Q: What's so special about my Ferrari? A: It was painted with babies

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What's the difference between Nelly and Common? One of them is an artist and one of them is a businessman.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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