my goldfish never writes me back when i send him letters

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mangos mandarins mushrooms mustache :{

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What did the ocean say the other ocean? Nothing, bodies of water are incapable of speech.

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A construction worker walks into a bar. Lucky he was wearing his hard hat.

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WHAT DO U CALL GINGERS GABRIELLA

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Why didn't the cow go to the candy store It had diabetes poor cow :(

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how do you hurt sombody? cut off their legs.

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Mahmy

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What do you call a black man running faster than a white man? Usain Bolt

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What does an Irishman say to you in the morning? Nothing because you only speak French.

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How do you make a suicide jumper not jump? Shoot him instead.

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Buy a SHOTGUN!!!!

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Have you seen Andrea Bocelli's new house? No. He hasn't either.

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What do you call a mulsim that tattles on you for vandilising muslim propaganda Target Practice

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What did the orphan boy get for Christmas? Cancer. What did he get for his birthday? He didn't make it that far...

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What do you get when you combine a potato and an apple? A nice Apple Potato Souffle...

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Jim Jim who? Oops, wrong house.

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Who died first the cow or the cow? The Cow

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Your mama so fat That she suffers from heart disease

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How do you make a hormone? Modify bacteria using recombinant DNA technology.

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What's the difference between an alligator and an argyle sweater? There are far too many conceivable differences between the two objects to be able to give an actual definite variance between them.

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There are two muffins in an oven neither can say anything at the moment, however, because both are in excruciating pain.

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A man walks into a bar, furious that his son had been knocked down by a car and was now in hospital with a fractured leg and concussion. Another man, who sits on a stool at the end of the bar, is playing with his drink and wondering if his wife had made a chicken curry, since she said she would for tonight's dinner.

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If you give a mouse a cookie, he will probably eat it then have a heart attack due to the high level of sugar in the cookie

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops