A black man checks his watch. He sees that its 3:50, and calmly carries on with his day.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse responds "I have cancer"

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what did the boy in the blue hat do? wear his blue hat

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DID YOU HEAR THE FBI INVENTED A TELEPHONE THAT THEY CAN USE TO CALL THE DINOSAURS? ITS TRUE! Them DAMN DINOS REFUSE TO PICK UP THEIR CELLPHONES THOUGH! Nero: This is not completely accurate though, a T-Rex called us twice actually, but he just kept roaring, making communication impossible... ...That sad moment when you post a totally non ofensive joke, then to tell you that I might your father, me or one of the sixthy guys that bukkaked your mother which was sucking off a dog and... Anyway problem solved!

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Patrick: My name is 24. Spongebob: Hey, Patrick, you know whats worse than 24? Patrick: What? Spongebob: 911.

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Why was six afraid of seven? He wasn't. that joke is just a way to convince you that seven is a scary number.

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Why did the skeleton cross the road? Because Apocalypse arrived and dead people now have the ability to walk.

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What did the little boy say to a stranger? Nothing. He is very shy, and his parents always said to never talk to strangers.

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There are two muffins in an oven neither can say anything at the moment, however, because both are in excruciating pain.

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If you give a mouse a cookie, he will probably eat it then have a heart attack due to the high level of sugar in the cookie

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What's the difference between an alligator and an argyle sweater? There are far too many conceivable differences between the two objects to be able to give an actual definite variance between them.

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A man walks into a bar, furious that his son had been knocked down by a car and was now in hospital with a fractured leg and concussion. Another man, who sits on a stool at the end of the bar, is playing with his drink and wondering if his wife had made a chicken curry, since she said she would for tonight's dinner.

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My, you you... SEDUCER! XD, and there I go proving your point by going uppercase XD

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How do you kill a lawyer? Stab him 50 times in the chest, slit him open and take all of his organs out one by one. Burn what you have left. That should do the trick. OMG I AM EVIL

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Why can't Helen Keller drive a train? Because she's blind.

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Q: Why did the Jew have to go to a concentration camp? A: Because he was Jewish

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What did the one eyed boy say at the movie theater? 3D was a boy choice

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A Black guy and a Mexican are in a car. Who is driving? The black guy. Its his car.

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why couldnt the man dunk? because he was 3' 2" and a legal midget.

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a duck walks in to a gay bar and asks for a stick they asked where he wanted it before he could answer he was rapped

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What do you do when your dish washer breaks? divorce her.

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Two arabs fly into a bar in the twin towers

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what do you get if you cross a motorway with a wheel barrow? Arrested as a wheelbarrow is not a motorised vehicle, or even a vehicle at all and therefore it is an offence to cross the motorway with it, actually it is probably an offence to cross a motorway with anything now that I come to think of it

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Me: Hey mom Mom: Hey Son Me: Whats? for dinner? Mom: I dont know

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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