what does mandy enjoy on weekends a load of cum in her face

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What did Tom get for Christmas? Gloves, but Tom had no arms.

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The schoolboy said to the bus driver, this is my stop the bus driver replied "no, we have a while to go yet"

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Your Face... It's Beautiful.

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Why do girls enjoy listening to Justin Biebers music? Because he sings moderately well and appeals to a younger audience.

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? Yes.

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Why didn't the kid get a bike for Christmas? Because his parents died and Santa's not real

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A girl hears a noise in the middle of the night in her kitchen downstairs. She walks down halfway through the staircase and asks if anyone is there, as if the intruder will say, "Yes, I'm in the kitchen. Want me to make you a sandwich?" *This will never happen. Movies are stupid when it comes to these scenes. No one will actually ask if anybody is there if they hear a noise in the middle of the night.*

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"knock knock" "who's there" "I dont know, check the door"

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being sober in a bar fight

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My name is me I like fired chicken!

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What did the homeless black guy write on his sign? need money for weed.

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What do you call a person with an axe stuck to his head? What's your name?

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Cat ate a battery, did volts.

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What did the White guy say to the balck guy? "How are you?"

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Why did Susan fall of the swing? She had no arms... Knock Knock... Who's there? Not Susan...

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LAST COMMENT? DISGUSTIIIING! NO YOU TAKE IT!

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Whats the difference between garlic bread and a Jewish person? Garlic bread doesn't scream in the oven.

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Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, You Have A Face That Belongs At The Zoo, Don't Worry I'll Be There With You, Not In The Cage But Laughing At You!!! :D

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person 1: i have a good knock knock joke person 2: ok what is it? person 1: say knock knock! person 2: knock knock person 1: trollollollollollollo

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What do you do if you see a black man in your backyard with a bullet wound in his head? Take him to the hospital.

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What do you call a Mad Cow? Dead. Pst, Mr.Cobb if your reading this- Hola.

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What do blueberries, oranges, watermelons, doors, curtains, backpacks, spoons, asian men, bicycles, asian men on bicycles, shrimp, books, eagles, dinosaurs, watermelons wearing backpacks filled with shrimp and orange spoons, feet, limes, binders, paper, candles, chicken nuggets, tvs, chairs, floors, refridgerators, and humidifiers have in common? Barnes and Noble

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whats the difference between a guitar and a fish? A guitar is an instrument used to produce noise and a fish is a living orgnism native to lakes and oceans

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops