A Muslim walks into a bar, and has a pint of lager because he has chosen to integrate into his host country's culture. He then leaves without incident.

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How do you shock a child? Attach a metal pole to them while there is a storm

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

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Yo mama so stupid she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death

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you know why Michael J Fox makes the best milkshakes? no... but his milkshakes brings all the boys to the yard

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I wonder if God looks at the Earth all these years later and thinks, Man, I really went overboard with the water, didn't I?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the stoplight turned green

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I suck at poetry Show me your tits

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Why was the girl crying? She got shot in the penis

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What is red and green and goes 50mph? A frog in a blender.

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What do you call a black police officer? The drug dealer's inside man.

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whats fat, green and hairy? Nothing I would pleasure myself to.

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A horse walks in to a bar. The bartender asks: "why the long face?" The horse didn't respond, because it's a horse.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Roses are red,Violets are blue, Who the hell are you,Get the hell away

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your mommas so fat she should be worried about getting diabetes

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What did you say? I'm blind. (Did not write this meaning to be offensive)

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A bloke runs into the bank, says to the girl "Stick 'em up!" She says "Righty-o, matey" and sellotapes his bollocks to the ceiling.

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What's yellow and shouldnt be in this country. The asian girl in my economics class

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A duck walks into a bar and the bartender--TOAST

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Why did Sandra fall of the swing? She had no arms... Knock Knock Who is there? Not Sandra

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What do you call a lubia chin jew slave? Kia

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one time when i bought a sonic blast they gave me a regular? size spoon and i was like this is a huge inconvenience.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw 'em.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops