Whats funnier than a massacre? Everything.

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Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

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How many babies can you fit in an oven? Depends how hungry you are.

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A pirate walks into a doctors office with ship's wheel attached to his crotch. Pirate: "Arrrrrr, do ya accept Kaiser Permanente?" Doctor: "Yes, but there's a $20 co-pay."

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One day, a mother was talking with her three daughters. "Mommy," the first one asked, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we took you home, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Mommy," the second one said, "Why did you name me Rose?" "Because when we took you home, a rose petal fell on your head." "MMMMBBBWWAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!" the third daughter cried. She was born with severe cognitive damage and is incapable of coherent speech.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Yes

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9/11

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Yo mama so stupid that when she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 twice instead

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What sits in the corner of room and gets smaller and smaller? A baby combing it's hair with a potato peeler

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Why did the surrealist go to the doctor? Knock Knock.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme But this one doesn't

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How do you make a plumer cry? Kill his family

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Q: Who was the best Jewish cook? A: Hitler.

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A Jew, a Christian, and a Muslim walk into a bar and have a friendly argument over their religious beliefs.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? It's dependent on many factors, like the size of the babies and the tub. It would be a horrific endeavor, and you should probably stop thinking about such things.

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How did the blind dyslexic boy find his way out of the cornfield? -He drew backwords numbers and letters in the dirt

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? Boy Scouts come back from camp

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what does a baby sound like in a microwave. i don't know i was masturbating

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What's red and green And moves at 300mph A frog in a blender

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Why did the white girl lose the race? The girl that she was beating was black and her boy shot her. Therefore the black girl won.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Orange

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Why bouriquet fall off the swing? Ask him.

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The snake rides the bicycle in the forest, the rabbit sees this, and says "hey snake, you don't have legs" "oh damn" replies the snake and eats the rabbit because of the insolence

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Why did the boy collect poop? Because it was it was his dogs shit.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops