National security?

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Q : WHAT DID THE SMALL SHEEP SAY TO THE BIG SHEEP ? Z : BÆÆÆ

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Why is life so hard? Because god isn't real

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Why do bats fly in circles? They're mentally retarded.

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Why did Johnny fall of the Swing?? Because i hit him with a shovel

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Why did the drunk man puke? Because he was drunk.

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do you listen to dubstep? OH YEA I LOVE SKRILLEX -_-

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Why Bono always walk barefoot ? Because he's an asshole.

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A wife says to her husband "Everybody's coming over tonight, I want you to dress nice." *logically this cannot happen because there is no way that this couples residence can fit all 6 or so billion people in the world, nor would they want to.

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What's worse than someone who isn't racist? A racist.

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BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH

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I'm going as the joker for halloween

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What did the T Rex say to the pterodactyl? ROIRWR!!!

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What did the dead man say? Nothing because dead human beings have no beating heart and do not live so they cannot speak.

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Q. What do you call a headless boy in a river A. A headless boy, in a river.

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carn ehney bodie hellp mie with mine smellings?

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Two chemist walk into a bar. The Bartender ask them what they want. The first chemist says he wants H20. The second chemist laughs and says he wants H20 too. Then he dies.

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A man walked into a bar. He then sat down and ordered a drink.

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DUH DUH DUH DRAMATIC HAMSTER

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What's the difference between a Lamborgini and 100 dead babies? I don't have a Lambo in my garage.

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Why were my arms so tired after I flew in from the coast? Because the stewardess, god rest her soul, failed to latch the door securely.

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how did the farmer die? his dog shot him

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What is worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

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Hi! Do you know how much a polar bear weighs? Roughly 1150 pounds if a full grow male.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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