How do you fix a chimpanzee? With a monkey wrench

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! oh wait i think i missed the joke, what?

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What did Queen Victoria say when she saw a zombie? "Quick everybody, run, that is a zombie."

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A: Knock, knock. B: Who's there? The writer of this joke had no idea how to end this.

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A Mexican man walks into a bar, the bartender asks "haven't you got a damaged liver?" The Mexican replies "haven't you got a job to do?" The Mexican died 2 seconds later

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Yo mama's so fat, she had a lap-band procedure.

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I agree to the terms and conditions

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I worship you Nero, and I wont even begin to explain myself why.

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why did the boy drop his icecream?? he got hit by a bus

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Q: What's better than winning a gold medal at the Special Olympics? A: Not struggling with a debilitating mental or physical handicap.

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How do you kill a blond? Shoot her in the face.

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What did the nazi say to the jew? Nothing, he shot 'em

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Why did the girl have an abortion? Because she wanted a burger.

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What did one theoretical physicist say to another theoretical physicist? Hey there Bill, how's Nancy and the kids doing?

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Why couldn't the dwarf mother reach for the top shelf? Her height was at a mini-mum.

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What do a pizza man and a gynecologist have in common? They are both hardworking members of the community!

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Whats bright red and claws at the window? Baby in a microwave.

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? This year I'm going to win the golden brief case!

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a man walks into a bar some other people get up and greet him as they are his friends. he then has a great night with his friends. he goes home and goes to sleep. he wakes up with a man next to him

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Hey diddle diddle, the cat and the fiddle, the cow jumped over the salamander, macaroni and cheese

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boys

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A black man walks into a bar. He paid his tab and couldn't have been more polite.

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Roses are red violets are blue I fucked your mom now im about to fuck you to.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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