Why did the toddler fall over? He's an Iraqi child and has been shot in both legs, being readied for a public execution for fighting on the opposing side.

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What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? A) The color of their hair.

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What happens if you fall of a cliff You die

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How do you make an apple puff? Put the apple in a large pan with some water. Cover and cook gently for 20-25 minutes until soft. Add sugar and nutmeg to taste. Transfer to a bowl and leave to cool. Cover with pastry and bake until well-risen and golden.

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Find x X + 2 = 5 ^ I found it

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What is white And taste like sheep A sheep

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Who has lots of friends, but smells like urinate feceas? Smelly McD, I lied about the friends.

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If little Timmy buys 80 candy bars and eats 67, how many candy bars does he have left? Diabetes. Timmy has diabetes. So he was disowned.

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How does a cancer patient bathe? He can't because he lives in an arid climate where water is scarce.

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What the hell are you doing?

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Red sky in the morning, Shepard's warning. Red sky at night, Shepard's Fulcrum.

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What do you call a tall midget? Well tall is a relative term so a midget may be considered tall compared to something or someone shorter. Say if a midget was compared to a baby he/she would be considered tall, considering the baby's small height. However midgets are looked at short by most people who are taller than them because of their physical problem that they can do nothing about.

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Henry was struck by a train. He was mourned by his parents.

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What's green and would kill you if it fell on you? A golf course

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Yo Momma is so fat, she often chooses to take the elevator instead of the stairs.

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Why do birds suddenly appear? Because they can fly

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who looks like justin bieber and is really cool? george darling but i lied about him being cool.

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A blind man walks into a deaf woman. He tries to apologize but she can't hear him.

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Roses are red. Violets are beer. Kay eckelkamp is in charge here.

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Your mamma's so obese that she can't stand up. She's been like this for years. That's because she's dead. She died of cardiovascular-related diseases.

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a man walks into a bar... his drinking problem is seriously affecting his family

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So I was walking along the beach one day and I see this whale. Then this dolphin named Lennie came up and was like, "Hey whale, how've you been? I haven't seen you in a while." And the whale was like, "Sorry, but I can't talk to you." And Lennie was like, "Whyever not?" And the whale said, "Because I'm not a starfish!"

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whats the diffrence between a lawnmower and a sack of dead babies? I dont have a lawnmower in my garage

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If I have 12 backpacks and Jimmy has 91 pancakes, then how many marshmallows can cover the roof of this building? Purple. Because Aliens don't wear hats.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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