One man said to another, "Hey, can you hear that?" "No." He replied.

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How I Met Your Mother, starring Oedipus Rex

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what did the bartender say to the customer? a. is it the first option b. is it the second option c. is it the third option.

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Q:How do you kill Chuck Norris ? A:You don't , He kills you first.

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i googled who gives a fuck my name wasn't in the results

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What is small, green, lives 10 meters under the ground and eat rocks? The little green rock eater!

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Why did Sheryl Go to the Bathroom? Cause she had Direha...........

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What is 100(1+1) -100 + 50 x2 - 300? 0. But who cares? The answer is as worthless as you.

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do yo know what's funnier than getting on a hidden camera show? Nope! it's just chuck testa

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Why are Chinese women such bad drivers? Only company executives are fortunate enough to own cars in communist China. Furthermore, women are still in a subordinate class in many Eastern societies.

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A. Why did the man crash the car? B. Because the driver was a blind man with no arms, who happened to have a psychological problem affecting his brain's ability to detect movement, thus making the car crash.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being raped by a Triceratops.

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Why was the jewish boy crying? i lied he was happy.

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Q: What did the pedestrian say to the bus driver that hit him? A: Nothing, he died.

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What do you call cheese that isnt yours? Stolen cheese.

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What do you get when you cross an owl and a bungee cord? My ass

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Relizing its a used tampon covered with blood.

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A Chinese man a Mexican and an American are all on a plane. They are all trying to get rid of stuff they have to much of in their country. The chinese man throws out a bowl of rice and says " we have to many of these in our country" the mexican throws out a taco and says " we have to many of these in our country" the American throws out the mexican and says "we have to many of these in our country"

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An Asian couple walks into a bar, orders a few drinks, pays, and leaves

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What's blue and wiggles? A baby in a bag

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Why did Martha Stewart's skin hurt? My friend has a skin condition :( and is dying, skin cancer is not something to make fun of.

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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Three french men are in the car wearing sombreros. They're trying to get to Disney World.

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What the difference between a ferarri and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a pile of dead babies in my garage. That would be murder.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops