What day is it? Asked the man with a gun who dislikes music. Friday. Mostly because yesterday was thursday and tomorrow is Saturday. Sunday comes afterwards also. The man says "oh. I thought it was Tuesday."

thumb_up thumb_down +14

An astronaut, a nun and a fireman walk into a bar. They all order something to drink as they have all had a busy day.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Yo mama so short she often has to ask you to retrieve items from the top shelf of her cabinet.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the male propagate the female? Because he was drugged. Slyly, this foxy female had slipped the male the date rape drug and a dangerous amount of viagra. During intercourse, the male ripped a gaping hole in the female's stomach and killed her. He woke up confused inside a dead stinking corpse.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the gorilla have big nostrils? Because it was a trait passed on to him from his biological father.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the water? A: Shark bait.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why didnt santa leave presents under the tree? Because santa doesnt exist.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the boy with no arms or legs get for his birthday? A bike

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How do you make a professional gamer cry? You burn his house down.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Roses are red Violets are blue I have ADD Hey look, a squirrel!!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

scenario: retarded monkey upside down in a mirror question: why is jims dad fat answer: the mexican chicken is an aperadus

thumb_up thumb_down +14

I wanted to burn alot of calories so i found a fat kid and set him on fire. :3

thumb_up thumb_down +14

time to spruce up!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's similar about a fish and an eagle? They can both fly, except for the fish.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the man throw his son out the window? His house was on fire

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anne Widdecombe becomes attractive.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the chicken cross the road? We will never know. Chickens are incapable of communicating with humans and thus the intent of the chicken is subject to speculation.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding poo in your shoe.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

what do you call something that dosint exist? nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Roses are red. Violets are blue. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT IS.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

I was just entering the toilet in a transport cafe just as a lorry driver was coming out. "I wouldn't go in there mate if I was you" he said "Why does it smell?" I enquired "No I've just murdered a prostitute"

thumb_up thumb_down +12

If pro is the oppisite of con what is the oppiste of progress Congress

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What has legs but can't walk? A table...or a dog with four broken legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

a kid was born with down syndrome on christmas night

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops