Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Why didn't the boy get his mom anything for her birthday? He was killed by a drunk driver years ago

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A man jumped off a bridge. He went bungee jumping with his family and had a great time.

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A white man is running away from a black man. Because they are Playing tag. A gaming involving to touch the other person

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What's the difference between a black man and and a bag of crap? A lot, but mostly the bag

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If X = 3 and Y = 7, what is X + Y = ? It doesn't matter. You forgot to put your name on the test which means you got an automatic fail.

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What did Sally get for Christmas? Who's Sally?

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A man gets hit by a car. His family is sad and plans a funeral.

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What happened when the ugly girl asked her crush out on a date? He said yes. He found her personality quite attractive

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme But this one doesn't

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Roses are Red, I have a phone, Nobody texts me, Forever alone.

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What do you do when you see a black man with half a head? Stop laughing and reload

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What do you call an asian pilot? A pilot you racist bastard

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ROSES ARE RED VIOLETS ARE BLUE I LIKE TITS TITS

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Why isn't this joke funny? Because it has no point.

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SBB

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A blonde woman with her son are in walmart , as they approach the food and beverage section , they see a mexican man looking at the eggs. The man asks for help from the blonde woman about egg quality. She says ABD Eggs are the best so the mexican guy chooses that. Upon leaving the little boy points to the mexicans guys hat and shouts "ALIENS !" the mother gets really embarassed and shouts at her son for his behaviour and says it is not right. The mum gets relieved that she say that the mexican guy could not hear since he was listening to music. Upon the way out the mum spots a purplish liquid dripping out of the mexican guys hair. She asks him and he replies "Its the hair gel". The blonde and son nods and continues on their lives. - AK

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What's taters, precious? The potato is a starchy, tuberous crop from the perennial Solanum tuberosum of the Solanaceae family.

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what is big and white? Your Mom

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What do an octopus and a cat have in common? They are both multicellular organisms that are living creatures, and therefore are both sentient and can perform simple tasks and make simple decisions.

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numbers just make the funniest antijokes

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How long would it take for a clock to reach 12 It depends on which 12 it is going to land on and which time zone you are in but yet most clocks are not correct so it is very hard to tell

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69

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joke

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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