What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite

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Q: What did the angry German man say to the Ameican? A: I dont know, I can't speak German!

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Fucked up quotes: "When walking trough hell, keep going!" (I just turn back and walk the other way thank you, I mean worst case I walk trough heaven right?" "Never give up, ever ever ever ever ever..." (Ill just end it with etc because I gave up something as hard as... Typing?) "Curiosity killed the cat" (Translated: "Curiosity kills, stay inside forever" What?)

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The opposing forces behind all human beings is not light vs darkness, not good vs evil, but fear vs ' love. Whatever is overwhelmingly good for one person, is evil to many. Overwhelming darkness wont allow you to see. Overwhelming light will make you blind. You can never fear overwhelming love. You can never love overwhelming fear. These are the true polar opposites, part of all emotion that drive the human being.

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knock! knock! Whos there? Chris Hansen..

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house No Oh... well he hasn't either

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why did the blonde get caught shop lifting? she wasnt a very good theif

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Your mom is so fat, that last night after reading and edition of Cosmo, she skipped dinner and cried herself to sleep due to her inability to live up to such an unrealistic feminine stereotype.

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Well... My reputation is still kinda exaggerated apparently. What you experienced is called astral projection, some people claim it is the same as lucid dreaming, I beg to differ, the difference is vast. You basically just admitted that people believe much more in you, than you believe in yourself, without believing hypnosis does not work, people are like "bah its just suggestions", its true, but underestimating the power of suggestions is a pretty bad call.

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why is a peanut butter and jelly sandwich the same as a tub of fish? they are both food

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what do you call a mexican baptism? a bean dip

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Knock Knock Whos there? The Police, your mother just died of bowel cancer.

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What's the best Anti-Joke ever? I don't know, but it's NOT this one.

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Two tomatoes are crossing the road. Suddenly one of them gets hit by a car. He goes "AGH!"

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Why were the police chasing the black man? Because he was in such a poor financial state that the bank foreclosed his house and now he has no source of income and therefore no way to purchase basic living requirements, so he was forced to steal in order to provide food for his family.

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How many women does it take to unscrew a light bulb? Usually just one, and a ladder.

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do you know whats worse than a bad joke on antijoke.com the holocaust.

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Why did the cat eat himself? He was hungry

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"Free to play" Play free "right now" "Free forever"

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wat do u say to a guy with a 3.5 cm choad wats hot tater tot

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What did the twin towers order from the pizzeria? Two large Plane

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What do a plum and a rabbit have in common? They're both purple, except for the rabbit.

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Where can you find the best black man soup? I don't know. Cannibilism is no longer socially acceptable.

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What 2 differences does a potato have in common? They both have very thin skin.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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