Why didn't the Country club waiter enjoy iced tea? He's simply always had a preference for warm beverages. He assumes this goes back to his infant days when his mother would massage his belly with warm porridge.

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Yo mama so fat you have to grease the door frame and hold a twinkie on the other side just to get her through.

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What did spongebob say to patrick? Im ready! im ready!

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Why did Marilyn Manson surgically remove 2 ribs from his body? To suck his own penis.

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What's the difference between a black minister and a white priest? Nothing. We're all equal in the eyes of God.

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8--------------------- penis

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man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw you seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasnt that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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How did the blonde girl get pregnant? Sperm enters their vagina and fertilizes an egg cell causing a child to be conceived.

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What is the opposite of pro? Con right? So what's the opposite of progress? Congress

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Why did the chicken cross the road? to get away from a gigantic tiger slowly stalking him

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You know what sucks ? A vacuum.

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Rivals? Someone from the past? Erron, who is "WE"! Tell me now!

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Whoever said "don't start what you can't finish" hopefully didn't think about having kids Cuz that would be horror Get it?

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Why was the black racist guy and the white racist guy, who 0hated each other, afraid of Michael Jackson? They didn't want to be the other each others color.

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What did the circle say to the square? Ur a square

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Once upon a time, there was a Y O U M A D and they all lived happily ever after.

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Q: Whats worse than finding 10 babies in a trash can? A: Finding 1 baby in 10 trash cans!

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Do you feel lucky punk, well do ya? ..Umm i'm sorry :/ I'm not gay!... I'm into chicks...you know?!

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Kindness is like peeing in your pants, Everyone can see the results, but only You can feel the warmth

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There is no I in team... But there is a u in suck. There is no I in team, but there is in awesome

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the bible

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What do you call people who play dance dance revolution? Dancers

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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