A man walked into a bar. He was meeting his friends but was 30 minutes early so he went down the road to buy some food. He had recently began dieting after watching a series of lifestyle programs which informed him of the potential risks involved with high cholesterol and blood pressure levels. He purchased a garden salad and a freshly squeezed orange juice, and made it back to the bar in time to meet his friends.

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Your mom is so fat that she actually had a pretty hard time finding a husband.

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A pirate walks into a bar. The bartender says, "You know, you have a steering wheel down your pants?" The pirate says, "I know, I was just raped by a group of men who thought it would be funny to humiliate me as much as possible. The bartender then called 911 seeing that a horrible crime had just been committed.

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There once was a man from Kentuckit, who like to dissapear with his dog and clean up the shit using a plastic bag and put it in the allocated public bin.

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If a tree falls on a deaf person, does anyone care?

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What starts with P and ends with "oop" POOP

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Maybe we simply need to keep the door open, but one cannot bring happiness to others, until one is happy oneself. Do I change something within you Red?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Chickens can't fly, what choice did it have? All it wanted to do was to get to the other side. That chicken knew what it wanted to do in life. What do you want to do with your life? Be chicken smart. Cross the road.

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The chicken didn't cross the road. Therefor, there is no why.

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Q. What do you call Lebron James on a roller Coster? A. A man who makes a lot of money and decided to take his family out on a family fun day to an amusement park.

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Whats the difference between a hundred dead babies and a Ferrari? The Ferrari isn't in my garage.

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So an African American man and another man of Hispanic, more specifically Mexico, are riding in the backseat of a car, who's driving? Probably their private chauffeurs, but most definitely not someone related to the Police Department.

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Have you ever seen the inside of Stevie Wonder's house? Neither has he.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it wanted to get hit and die

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What was the cancer patients last wish? For the pain to go away...Yolo...-Avery Scott Vartanian

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Whats the similarity between a rabbit and a grape? There both purple, except for the rabbit.

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What did the black jewish homosexual say to the conquistador? Nothing as they were both from entirely different time periods.

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How do you make a person cross the road? Ask them nicely.

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Why did Susie fall out the swing, Because I hate disabled people and i pushed her

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What brown and sticky? A sticky turd

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"Sh*t!" cursed the man. "You're such a potty mouth!" replied the unamused toilet.

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What did the Chinese man say to the Japanese man Nothing as they have never met

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How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face!

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69 is a number not a sex poshion

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops