What did the woman say when she didn't finish her meal? Can I get a to go box

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Did you hear about the new German oven? Seats 40.

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The guy told a funny joke. Why wasn't the other guy laughing? Because he was having a heart attack

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Why was Sally angry? Because somebody burned all her clothes

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Why the moron throw the clock out the window? Because he was a moron.

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Sarah: Knock knock. Jim: Who’s there? Sarah: It’s me, Sarah. Open the door. Jim: It’s me Sarah open the door who? Sarah: Please Jim, it’s freezing out here. Jim: That wasn’t a very funny joke, Sarah. Sarah: Shut the fuck up and let me in. Jim: Ok.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? What does chicken mean?

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What's worse than getting hit by a bus? Getting hit by two buses.

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It's not that hard to be Dyslexic. You just have to accept it nad ovem no.

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What's worse then me banging your mom? The fact that I gave her HIV

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How many licks did it take for the owl to get to the center of the tootsie roll tootsie pop? A: Since when did owls have tounges?

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Haikus usually make sense, but sometimes they don't refrigerator.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Interrupting owl Interrupting owl- HOOOOOOOOOOOO

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Why did the little girl fall off the swings? Because at the climax point in the swing, gravity is making a much larger affect on you because you are pulling farther away from the earth as well as positioning your body in a way where it is awkward and unstable to support your body, which greatly increases the chance of you falling off and landing on the ground.

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Adolf the Red-Nosed Hitler

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Your Mum Is So Dumb, It Took Her 2 Hours To Watch 60 Minutes.

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This is a haiku. Not a very good haiku, But still a haiku.

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Your mom is so ignorant that she in completely unaware how the premature termination of QE2 in conjunction with a potential US credit downgrade could substantially impact her fixed income portfolios and hinder her ability to retire in the desired time frame.

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How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie-roll center of a tootsie-pop? zero if you bite it

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Q) What do you get when you cross a brown chicken with a brown cow? A) An abomination

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What did Stephen Hawking say to a prostitute? Push me, and then just touch me, Till I can get my, Satisfaction.

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Why was the muslim surprised? A tyrannosaurus rex bit off his legs.

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A man walks into a bar, he realizes he has no money and leaves

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why did the clown go to the graveyard? because he was dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops