What do you call two babys with one head? I dont know either, answers on postcard please!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

why did the teenaged girl cry? she was about to have an abortion

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Chris Brown walks into a bar. And then is politely asked to leave as the bar owner also happens to be the spokesperson for an anti-domestic violence group.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Wanna hear a funny joke? Oh, I was just asking.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Whats worse than biting an apple with a worm in it? Getting stabed until you died and being fed to your own children....... twice

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you call 100 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A weird kind of genocide.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the mum scream at the boy? Because he was being stupid

thumb_up thumb_down -10

9 tottenham fans walk into a french bar 2 minutes later French fans attack them saying this is for making our history lessons boring 1 shouts ohh the holocaust French fans ash him even more 5 say there call the jew squard next minute there getting attacked by a bunch of kids and lying that there were 30 neo Nazi men.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How do you get birds to land in your back yard? With a gun.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A guy uses Google locations to find his friend Chuck Norris.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the homeless man kill his dog? Because a drunk rich guy said he'd pay him a hundred dollars if he did.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How do you make a tissue dance? You give it dance lessons.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

I am hot he is not can you beleive it I got shot

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Roses are red violents are blue I have 5 figures and the middle one is for you

thumb_up thumb_down -10

EVERYONE NEEDS TO UNDERSTAND!! DYSLEXICS ARE TEOPLE POO!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why doesnt snow like Asians? Snow is a form of precipitation within the Earth's atmosphere in the form of crystalline water ice, consisting of a multitude of snowflakes that fall from clouds. Since snow is composed of small ice particles, it is a granular material. It has an open and therefore soft structure, unless packed by external pressure. Snowflakes come in a variety of sizes and shapes. Types which fall in the form of a ball due to melting and refreezing, rather than a flake, are known as graupel, ice pellets or snow grains. Therefore since snow is unhuman they are then thus incapable of emotions because they lack any vitals organs.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree It was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree He was stapled to the first monkey Why did the refridgerator fall out of the tree? its a refridgerator Why did the third monkey jump out of the tree It thought it was a game

thumb_up thumb_down -10

boys

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Two girls were taken away mysteriously in the night. The next day, no one cared because they were orphans.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Knock knock Who's there? Cow Cow who? If you really think about it, it's really now

thumb_up thumb_down -10

two kids find a condom so they decide to show their mum the mum snatched it off them saying never to touch one of them again the kids went to their room "Mum sounded pretty angry about that thing "Lucky we didnt tell her about the yohgurt we drank out of it

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q. How did the little girl fall of the swing? A.She got hit by a fridge

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops