Salt: "Hi there!" Slug: "AAÀAAAAAAAAAGGGHHHHH!!!" *dies*

Two men walk in to a bar. The first man says "I'll have some H20" The second man says "I'll have some H20, too." They both received glasses of water.

How do you make an apple puff? Put the apple in a large pan with some water. Cover and cook gently for 20-25 minutes until soft. Add sugar and nutmeg to taste. Transfer to a bowl and leave to cool. Cover with pastry and bake until well-risen and golden.

Roses are red Violets are blue I am adopted And so are you

What do two Jews have in common? They both practice the same religion.

guy walks into a bar, ouch

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms or legs. "Knock, Knock" "Who's There?" "Not Sally."

What's the difference between Harry Potter and a Jew? Harry made it out of the chambers...

Roses are Roses Violets are Violets I am to Literal, That is a statement.

how did the farmer die? his dog shot him

Whats the quickest way to get famous? kill the president

sweating like antoni with a girl

Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme But this one doesnt

How many lawyers does it take to screw in a lightbulb One because lawyers are usually well educated and know how to screw in a lightbulb

why did the little girl eat grapes? because she felt like it.

ohai. whutz en ahntei johk? sownz soopihd.

Whats better than Anti-jokes? Mtiscape.com

Why was Johnny so sad His father beat his mother

Why did the ceiling fall down? Because there weren't any walls.

Q: Why is Rosie odonell fat? A: Because you are sexual attracted to small children.

What did the anorexic order for dinner? Nothing

I used to be an adventurer like you, Then I settled down in a quiet place in the woods with a girl and raised a family.

womens rights

Why did the bartender leave the bar? He worked really long hours and finally needed some time to sleep.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...