man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw you seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasn't that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

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Bill: Knock, Knock. Sean: Who's there? Bill: It's your neighbor, Bill Walters, from across the street. Sean: Oh, hey Bill, how are you and Margie? Bill: Oh, I'm doing fine, but Margie just got out of the hospital for a broken arm. Sean: My gosh, what happened. Bill: She was just loading the Halloween decorations down from the attic while I wasn't home and fell. She's fine though; it was only a minor fracture. Sean: Well thank goodness she alright. Bill: Anyway, I came over to return those hedge clippers I borrowed from you last month. Sean: Oh, thank you. How did they work? Bill: Just great once I gave them a coat of oil. It was a big job... I haven't trimmed those bushes in three years. Sean: Yeah, these clippers have belonged to my grandfather, father, and me. Bill: Darn, thats quite amazing, I wish I could get a pair of those, but I doubt they still make them. Sean: I'm pretty confident they don't, but you can borrow these anytime. Bill: Thanks Sean thats very generous of you. Sean: No problem, I almost never use them myself. Well I better get back to Jeanie...I'm helping her make dinner. Bill: Alright, Well thanks again.

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Why did the moose cross the road? Migration.

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Where did the farmer take his pigs on Saturday afternoon? the Slaughterhouse

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A blonde, a brunette, and a red head walk into a bar. You think they should have ducked?

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In Soviet Russia my freedoms are severally restricted by communism.

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what did the person with yellow teeth and the person with white teeth have in common? they have a nose.

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why was the man on the roof? he was about to commit suicide.

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What's black, white, and red all over? An interracial man with multiple stab wounds.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pale of water jack fell down and broke his neck and he was dead... The End

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What did the lady say to the boy who's parents just died? Haha, your parents just died.

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Q: What's more silly than the idea of a wealthy, successful black man? A: A Clown

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Why do jews love money so much? Because money is very valuable and everyone loves it.

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what is the only thing in the world that can pick up 1000 jews at once? A vacuum cleaner

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What's black white and red all over A Nun after being pushed down the stairs

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What do you call white trash Garbage

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Kid: "Tell me about when you were young, Grandpa." Grandpa: "Oh, sonny, those were crazy times. My friends and I were out of control. We used to give each other wet-willies and funny arm. We'd play dandy-balls and legs-a-spread and penis-butt." Kid: "Sounds kind of gay, Grandpa. " Grandpa: "It was gay. Everyone was. But, back then, we were called pole-fancies. It was real, good old-fashioned "grab the nearest tree and hold on for dear life" gay, not today's fancy, featherbed, thread-count gay. People got hurt back then! Kid "That's gay." Grandpa: "Yeah, it was pretty gay "

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Why the guy without two hands at the beach was so excited? Because he couldn't scratch his asshole.

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How did the black man start his car? He turned on the emission and lightly leaned his foot on either the accelerator or reverse pedal, depending on the position of the car.

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You smell just like a black person. With your nose.

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Why is the moon gray? Why is it not?

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why did the koala fall out of the tree? because it was dead

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How does your sister ride a bicycle? My sister does not have any legs.

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How many mathematicians does it take to count?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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