Simon says.. Nothing because he is deaf, so therefor he would have to sign it to you.

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Have you seen Hellen Keller's treehouse? No. It's quite nice, her father made it himself.

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I man sees a shooting star and makes a wish. Nothing happens as shooting stars are incapable of granting wishes.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? Thats a matter of opinion

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Is it a bird, is it a plane?! No it's.... It's a bird.

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I have a phone, Don't know where it's at, Forever Alone FAPFAPFAP

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Tyler Bishop is a waffle

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What's comfy and easy to wear? Shorts.

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He had no distinguishing characteristics whatsoever.

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How many women does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one.

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i googled who gives a fuck my name wasn't in the results

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why did the chicen cross the road? because it saw an excellent deal on hair products on the other side of the street.

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How scoops of ice cream does a n*gger get? 0.

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Yo mama's so fat, I gave her a compliment because we should embrace body acceptance.

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So 3 Jews walk into a bar, I lied, it was a gas chamber.

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kronkel spasm dizzle nork is short for: i cant believe you bought a ninja monkey to scratch your clownitis! i am randomly going to have a spasm cause i am down with that dizzle..... lets watch a show callled norks! i am pregnant with your baby ducky.

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WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWERWHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWERWHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER

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A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Someone clearly messed up on naming the flower. Violet is synonymous with purple, Which is obviously NOT blue; It's the mixture between blue and red.

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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a termite walks into a bar and asks, "wheres the bar tender?"

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one of my best friends is blind and hasn't been able to see anything hhis entire life but he can hear a hummingbird from 50 yards away i mean, talk about worthless..

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No!

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What's black and white and red all over? Michael Jackson after being hit by a train.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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