What do you get when you cross a baby and a chainsaw? Life imprisonment.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Peas are green Plums are purple Thieves are black

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How old is your mom Dead

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it is an animal without a high enough level of intelligence to see the dangers in doing so.

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What did the man with the gun say to the man without the gun? I have a gun

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away Because no dog likes being called "hurrrrdhjkdhjsaklhdkhjkddssaduyiwqkhdbewcjk"

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What do two black guys do when they walk into the convienent store with masks? Buy candy for Trick-or-Treating

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I once walked into my grandmas house to find her laying face down on the ground. It turns out that everyone was planking but grandma wasn't breathing...

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So, I was walking down the street. As i walked past a oak door an entrance to a mental institution, I heard a bored voice going, "eleven, eleven, eleven". My curiosity, like a cat, got better of me and I decided to take a peek through the key hole and see the eleven things being counted. As soon as I had my eye on the key hole, I was poked in the eye by a metal rod. Startled, I feel back to the street. And, sure enough, heard the same bored voice, going, "twelve, twelve, twelve".

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what do u call a guy with 4 nipples? Hairy Styles

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Get Outta Here We're Closed!

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If you give a mouse a cookie... ...youre ruining its natural diet. it might die.

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What's bigger than a moose? An even bigger moose.

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Why couldn't the kid get in to see the pirate movie? It was rated PG-13, and he was only 11. Plus, he had no money, and his mother didn't want him watching movies like that.

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I'm getting sick of holocaust jokes can't you Nazi Anne Frankly I'm sick of it

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for his birthday? A bike

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What was pauls mum screaming? Rape

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How many Terry Pratchetts does it take to change a lightbulb? To get to the other side.

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What did the boy reading a book do? He finished the book and took it back to library.

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What did the homicidal maniac say to his 13th victim? Nothing, she was dead at the time.

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How do you stay out of Heaven? you stay alive.

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Why'd the aborted fetus cross the road? 9/11

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What did the boy eat for breakfast? Food

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A black man walks into a bar and he orders a margarita. The bartender says that the margaritas are exceptionally delicious in this bar. He was right.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops