What sinks quickly to the bottom of a river? Your dead parents.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why was the Islamic woman killed? She insulted Allah.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

why did the zombie eat bob because bob was delicious

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did Valter fall of the swing? Because he didn't have any arms Knock knock Whos there? Not valter

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the chicken cross the street? K

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What happened to the boy who ate a piece of his Halloween candy? He died. It was laced with cyanide.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A unicorn, a smart blonde, a dragon, and a hobo are in a maze who gets out first? The hobo. The other 3 don't exist. By Adam Chebali

thumb_up thumb_down +14

what do you call a a miget crossed with a vampire? A miget, vampires are a figment of you're screwed up imagination.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Q: How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? A: That's not funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A chemist and his buddy walk into a bar. The chemist, trying to sound smart, says, "I would like a glass of H20." The buddy, being a normal person who actually cares if he looks like an idiot, asks for plain water.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's Funny About A Black Man Being Shot? Nothing, That Man Was My Friend.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

a guys was walking down the street in Queens. a attractive young woman walked by. He was interested in here so he said nice things and they ended up going on a date. She had a big butt.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the mushroom go to the party? Cause he was invited.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

a black man is chasing a white man,, "sir you dropped your wallet'!!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did george washington not make it to the prom? because george washington is dead

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A player under the tag "KiTcHeNGuRLxGaMerZ143" got a message after finishing a map on call of duty. "lol ur good."

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Did you hear the one about the guy who couldn't tell any funny jokes? He went to Anti Joke and posted 1000's.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Q) How do you get 100 midgets into a Mini? A)You have to manufacture a Mini large enough to accommodate 100 midgets. It wouldn't be street-legal, but at least the problem of getting 100 midgets into a Mini is solved. Q) Did you hear about the two guys who wanted to go to Paris? A) They didn't go! Q) Why did the boy throw his Television out the window? A) Cause it was completely broken. Q. What's the difference between a duck? A. An orange. <<< This is the ultimate tough anti-joke Q: What is red and smells like blue paint? A: Red paint. Q) What did the Hobo get for Xmas? A) Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +14

what is worse than finding finding an apple in your worm? Finding your peanut shells in your peanut.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Do I know any jokes about sodium hypobromite? As a matter of fact, I do. It goes: "Do I know any jokes about sodium hypobromite? NaBrO."

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Roses aren't blue Violets aren't red She was my ex wife But now she's just dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

why did the giraffe cross the road? because my dad and his "fishing buddies" are having another "meeting" in the basement. I hear weird noises, and I haven't seen my little sister in weeks, since the last "meeting." Dad said she went to a special camp for little girls. I hear horrible noises.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops