Whats green and smells like grass? Grass scented air freshener, in a green colored can.

One day there was 2 black guys in hoodys with knives in there hand. They tapped me on the shoulder and took my groceries. They then made me a jam sandwich and went on there way

Why did the chick cross the road? Because she's a gold digger homie, dat chick is greedy like a mofo. She be all up in your grill and sheit tryin' getchu to spend your money lik dat homie ditch dat hoe, she aint even worth it brotha.

What's white and has a crusty nose? Luke Lange

Why did the poorly educated man get fired from the M&M factory? He changed the M's to W's!

Knock knock Who's there? Isabelle Isabelle who? Isabelle Williams Oh hi Isabelle come in

A doctor tells a woman he needs to take her rectal temperature. The woman tells the doctor "That's not my rectum." The doctor promptly apologizes and conducts the rest of the check up.

What do you get when you cross a dead monkey, a chair fitted with wheels for use as a means of transport by a person, Isaac Newton & the creator of the website? Stephen Hawking.

What did the coin said when it got flipped ? Nothing, coins do not have sufficient requirements to be able to talk like we humans do.

poop

how do you know your sister is on her period? you dads dick taste like blood.

You're mother has had a heart attack in the middle of the street, you start to sing amazing grace hoping people will join in, but unfortunatly this is not a musical and you should call 911.

What are the similarites between Autistic people and dead people? They are both very poor in social situations

What's funny about black people? The fact that they are all in prison for not being visible at night time.

What caused the man to become blind? He took an arrow to the knee.

A man goes into the doctors office for his yearly checkup. The man waits patiently for several minutes until the doctor is ready to see him. After about ten minutes pass, the doctor is ready to see him. The man enters the doctors office. He passes all of the necessary tests. The doctor and him talk for a while. After a few minutes, the doctor says, "Okay, thanks for coming. See you next year." The man thanks the doctor and leaves.

What is blue and feels like fluff? Blue fluff

Women's Rights

what happened to the atheist when he died? he went to HELL

yo mama is so fat, when she stepped on the scale it said, 200 l.b.s

Why was the gay man gay? Because he likes touching other guys penises

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple ? The Holacoast

What do tomatoes, apples, oranges, lemons, and peaches have in common? They are all fruits.

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs, floating in the ocean? A victim of the increasingly violent Mexican drug cartels.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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