knock,knock whos there? teddybear. teddybear who? a teddybear killed your family.

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Little Stephanie was up all night on Christmas eve excited for her new bike that Santa was going to bring her. After tossing and turning for what seemed like decades, the sunset finally arose and Stephanie ran down the steps to unwrap her new bike with the family. Immediately after she went down the staircase, she found her parents marinated in their own blood, with knife wounds all around their body.

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What did the African-American toddler from Compton get for his birthday? Most likely nothing, seeing as his father left his mother briefly after his birth, and his mother uses all of her money to feed her heroin addiction.

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pickles are green infection is yellow all the girls i know call me a good fellow

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-What did the policeman say to the boy? -Hello.

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why did radio not get the song? beacause he radio didnt work.

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once, my friend said hi. i said hi back

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What did the chair say to the guy? Nothing, as it is a chair and chairs can't talk

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What do you call a moose with a 42 gauge shotgun pellet through its head? Open Season

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What is better than a 50-inch wide plasma flat screen TV? A 51-inch wide plasma flat screen TV.

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Q. What do you do when you cross an elephant, and a soccer ball. A. That would never happen.

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When is it ok to drink urine? When you're Bear Grills

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Why was the man in a great deal of pain? Because he was hit in the face with a sack of potatoes.

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A grasshopper walks into a bar and the bartender says "Hey! We have a drink named after you!" The grasshopper doesn't respond because he is a grasshopper and therefore can't talk.

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Why do women have boobs? In order to feed their infants

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KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? all my friends break the door down...oh alright then ill answer i guess WHO IS IT? THE REAPER oh s*** dude! [panic face] NO ONES HOME? "In other news tonight, 2 local men found murdered in their living rooms, after looking up common joke style called anti joke. Police say the door was smashed in an obvious sign of forced entry. They seem to have just mysteriously had sudden heart attacks and fainted. heh heh...hey nancy....why did the chicken cross the road? [=< heh heh" "y" "because he thouroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic" "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA *GASP!* X.x dead face "NANCY! NANCY!.....well in other OTHER news ive just murdered nancy, and thats no joke." *runs*

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, these two statement are obvious unless you are color blind

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What has 4 eyes and cant see? Mississippi

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Wanna hear a joke? Sure. Me too.

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Why didn't the kid get a bike for Christmas? Because his parents died and Santa's not real

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Wow! I've seen this joke before!

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Why did the sperm swim back? cos he realised that he was in someones anus!

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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What happens when a baby stops crying? it dies.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops