roses are red violets are blue me + you =the perfect 2

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Q: Why did Sally fall off the swing? A: How the heck would I know? I don't Sally.

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why was the little boy crying? he wasnt, he died 2 weeks ago

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What do you call a dinosaur that doesn't lay eggs? A male dinosaur

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Is J.P. dumb? Yes

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"what's fat,stupid,and has a shell" "i don't know what" "you, i lied about the shell"

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Why did the nun cry? 12 babies were killed under her care.

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Chuck Norris is so strong that he could bench almost 250 pounds in his heyday.

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What do you call a deer in the wild? a deer

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What's worse then falling off a buliding? Falling of a higher building.

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When Kurt Cobain was little, his mother told him to never play with guns but I guess it went through one ear and out the other.

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what does lady gaga and a vacuum have in common? nothing. lady gaga is a human and the other is a house hold item.

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What is brown and salty? A pretzel.

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What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff. What's not pink and fluffy? Rape.

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69

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What is worse than when the Titanic sunk? You Cannot say. You were on that ship.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monekey fall out of the tree? It thought it was a game. Why did the refridgerator fall out of the tree? It had no arms. Why did the girl fall of of her bike? She was hit by three monkeys and a refridgerator

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Knock knock

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Where did Lucy go went the bomb went off? Everywhere

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A seal walks into a club... the seals freinds later inform him they are now at a bar the seal then walks into the bar... the seal was later beaten to death

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Whats worse then biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into an apple and finding half a worm. Wats worse then biting into an apple and finding half a worm? Biting into an eggplant and finding half a worm, as eggplants are usually more expensive so you will have wasted more money and would probably not be willing to eat the rest. And eggplants taste like shit.

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A man is sitting at a bar. He stands up and goes over to these bikers playing pool. He then walks over to the bartender and says "I bet you three hundred dollars that I can pee in that bottle over there." The bartender looks at the bottle and sees there is a good five meters between the two. The bartender then agrees. The man takes out his penis and begins to pee. His pee stream goes everywhere on the bar, on the cash register, and espicially on the laughing bartender. It goes everywhere except inside the bottle. The man finishes and zips his pants. He then smiles at the bartender while handing him three hundred dollars. The bartender asks "why are you laughing you lost three hundred dollars?" Which the man replies "See those bikers by the pool table laughing?...I bet them five hundred dollars each that I could pee on your bar, on your cash register, and on your face and you would laugh and be happy." The bartender then reached under his bar and toke out his bat. He then continued to break the mans knees and then perceeded to pee on his bruised and battered face.

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Roses are red Viloets are unicorns this? doesn't make sense Refridgeator

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I scream, you scream, we all scream when we're chased by bears.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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