Q: Why's everyone afraid of Friday the 13th? A: Justin Bieber's movie comes out.

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What did the green grape say to the purple grape? BREATH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

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What's worse than a pile of dead babies? People that make dead baby jokes.

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YOU-why did the airplane crash? (person): why? YOU-Because jimmy was flying it. (person): Who is jimmy? YOU- a fish.

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say it ten times fast: oh

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What is the #1 cause of pedophiles? Sexy children

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what goes round , and round , and croaks? a blender in a frog.

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roses are red violets are twisted turn around bitch your about to get fisted

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Two muffins are baking in an oven. One turns to the other and says, "Boy, it sure is hot in here!" The other one replies, "OMG, A TALKING MUFFIN!"

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Why was the boy upset? His penis fell off and his mom was making him go to the library.

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Lambos are red Tuxedos are Blue The cat is out of the bag Shit, we're all gonna die in helll

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What did the joke say to the antijoke? Nothing.

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Jack Stevens

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how does a chinese chick check if she's pregnant? swallows a rubix cube and if it comes out solved shes pregnant

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Why did Tiger look in the toilet? It doesn't matter, he didn't find anything.

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Where di mary go during the bombing? Everywhere.

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I haven't had sex for about 2 years, 10 months, 20 days and 4 minutes. It doesn't bother me though.

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Two peanuts walked into a bar... One was a salted.

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If people are freaking out about this Kony guy I cant wiat to see the look on their faces when they check in my crawl space.

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What is worse than when the Titanic sunk? You Cannot say. You were on that ship.

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What do you give hobos? Febreeze

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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Why couldn't Timmy go to the bathroom? He was constipated.

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Why is 3 less than 4? To get to the other side

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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