What was that pirate movie rated? PG-13

Moderately entertaining story, friend.

Why isnt Gemma a Surfboarder? .. Because She was a Stillborn. Why isn't Kate a Ballerina? Because She's paralysed. Why isnt Tommy an Olympic High Jumper? Because He's a dwarf.

What does a black guy and an apple have in common? They're both apples except for the black guy

Two penguins are sitting in the bathtub, the first one says to the second one "pass the soap." The other penguin says," what do I look like a radio?"

Knock knock. ... There was no reply because the resident was on holiday.

What do you say to a dead man who knocks on your door? Nothing, you shoot him cause he's a zombie

A skinny white prisoner dropped his soap in the shower. So the big, ripped, black prisoner who was showering next to him picked up the soap and handed it back to him. The skinny white prisoner said "Thank you" and continued with his shower.

............................................................................................................ . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. . . . . . .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .thumbs up!!!!!

Q:Whats worse than stubbing your toe? A: Watching a terrorist saw your dads arm off.

What do you can an astronaut with an apple? Never mind, I have a boner.

A blonde, a brunette, and a red-head are trapped on a desert island together After many days without food, they resort to cannibalism. The blonde eats the brunette, and the red-head eats the blonde. The red-head eventually dies once the water supply runs out.

When Geese fly in their 'V' formation, why is one line bigger than the other? There's more geese in that line.

What's Mackaulay Culkin's favorite salad dressing? Neverland Ranch.

What do you get when you put a blue bucket in the red sea? it gets wet

''Levi Johnston is running for mayor of Wasilla, Alaska. Ironically, many of the babies he'll kiss on the campaign trail will be his own.''

What do you think when you see an asian woman behind the wheel of a car? She's very attractive.

A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

A black man, a Mexican man, a Jew, an Asian man, and a white man get into a fight. Who won? Well since their dispute got all the way to a fight, I guess nobody really wins.

I know a black person. His name is Mikey.

Me: How can you tell if somebody's a Nazi? Friend: How? Me: Their killing people in a ghetto. Friend: My friend was shot in a ghetto. Me: So, does that make him a Jew? Friend: No, he was just killed in a big ass oven.

What's worse than eating poop for your whole life? Nothing really, you've got serious problems if you have another option...

Women's Rights.

How do you make a black man cry? Stab his wife.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...