What's worse then the Boston bombing? The Texas bombing, considering Texas is a much bigger region then Boston.

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Barack Obama, Mother Teresa and Stephen Hawkings had race. Who won? Barack Obama. This deduction can be made as Stephen Hawking is severely disabled by a motor neurone disease known as amyotrophic lateral sclerosis. Henceforth, he has very limited control over the majority of his body and is confined to a electric wheel chair. Thus, he could not participate competitively in the race. Moreover, Mother Teresa is dead. This unfortunate occurrence was caused by several myocardial infarctions in combination with pneumonia. Regardless of this, Mother Teresa's meek and frail build would slower her speed considerably; in comparison to Barack Obama's relatively athletic and robust frame. Nonetheless, President Obama is a smoker. Therefore, he may experience symptoms associated with emphysema during the race, causing him to retire. As such no-one would finish the race, leaving the spectators feeling very disappointed and empty.

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masturbating on a tarc bus

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your mother is so fat that she got brain damaged from cardiac arrest and now needs medical care for the rest of her life.

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What's the main difference between dogs and children? When children reach their teen years they grow up and leave home. When dogs reach their teen years they die of old age.

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The $5.00 Foot-long at Subway's is actually $5.45 due to tax.

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save me from the nothing ive become

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I am white, asian and black... What am I? A panda

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because his monthly car bill is too freaking high and can't afford to take car to work, where all of his co- workers are waiting to tease him!

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If I was trapped in a closet with you and a bear, and I only had two bullets, I would shoot you twice!

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Q: What's multicoloured and spins around while screaming in agony? A: A clown in a washing machine.

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Whats black and is on sale in shops? Blackberries.

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Whats worse than losing your keys? Your entire family dying in a preventable house fire.

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Why was the black man in school detention? For sleeping in and showing up late accidently

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A black man is in line for a club. The bouncer says: This is a white party only. The black man says: Damn, I wasnt aware I had to wear white clothing. He then left the line and told himself to check the promotional page on facebook more often.

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i said call 911 and they said whats the number?

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and says "what is this, some kind of joke?!"

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Your mom is so fat, she had a heart attack and died. It was very sad and she will be missed.

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How are friends and bananas alike? If you peel their skin and eat them they die.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, your face belong in the zoo, don't worry I get there too, not in the cage, just visiting you :)

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why did winnie the pooh have his head in the toilet,? it was clogged.

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"Hello, is this the Krusty Krab?" "No, this is Patrick."

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Knock knock. Who's there? I'm sorry I don't know you but I think I might have run over your dog!

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How many black men can you fit into a mini? Five One in the drivers seat. One in the passenger seat. And three in the back seats. Anymore would be both dangerous and impractical due to the small interior volume of the car, and it would also put a significant strain on the cars limited engine power. Especially when tackling a steep incline.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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