2 men walk into a bar without thier shirts. They get kicked out. 2 women walk into a bar without thier shirts They got beaten almost to death Why? The men dressed up as women, and every hated them so much they beat the almost to death when 2 cops walk into that bar, see the men dressed up as women and they too beat them. Little do they all know that the men disguised as women are really secret goverment agents looking into a drug deal. The drug dealers got away and now we have 2 people sueing the police department and drugs on the street again. Oh yeah I almost forgot: I made this up so if you read it you're going to die withing the next 100000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 years. I gurantee it. If you dont the men in white coats are going to do extremely painful tests on you and you just might die so then no one will care and maybe get onto thier lives again. Why did I right this? It hasnt happened to me so I dont know If you tell me I will give you something more valueble than gold. Want to know what it is? TELL ME FIRST!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Q: Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M Factory? A: It's hard to say. HR can not discuss the details of her termination, and the blonde signed a non-discloure agreement. She has since relocated to Biloxi with her family and is doing quit well.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why is Brendan stupid. Because he's mentally retarded due to the fact he was dropped as a chil.d

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did Raymond say when josh ate him? Nothing because Raymond was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A polar bear and a seal are sitting on an ice floe. The polar bear looks at the seal and says, "RAWRRRRRRRRRGGG" and then kills and eats him. A horse walks into a bar Barman says "Why the long face?" The horse replies "My mum died this morning".

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A cat ran into the road...I hit it

thumb_up thumb_down -15

a 7 year old child is watching a show that involves a c0ck, an ass, a bitch, and a bastard......... However this show is completely appropriate for a 7 year old, what could possibly be inappropriate about a chicken, donkey, dog and an orphan?

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How do you get a girl with two jobs to drop on her knees? Through a penny on the knees

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did the little boy become for Halloween? An orphan, his parents were killed that day.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did the fisherman say to the other fisherman? Were both fishermen

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Eating food: Ugh disgusting! Taking a dump later: THIS IS DELICIOUS! Man, you are doing it wrong... Waterworld was a pretty dry movie, I mean when are they gonna start making movies with a bit of wet humor for a change? SERIOUSLY BELIEVE ME WHEN I SAY I AM NOT SERIOUS!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's worse than the holocaust? Jewish people!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

(sniff) (sniff) It smells like gross diarrhea in here... (sniff) (sniff) ... Yeah it does

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why didn't the lady answer the phone? She is deaf and mute.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

knock knock whos there cops o shit come on they found out about pot lets go

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's worse than walking into a lampost? Your seven year old child accidentally finding and watching a sex tape that you made years ago.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

a boy meets a girl the rest is censored

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why is the boy home alone on Friday night? Because HItler took he's parents away.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

An Arabic Muslim is on a plane. He's flying to Chicago.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Did you hear the joke about the deaf guy ? He didn't.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

someone says they've been "dying laughing"... no they haven't; they're quite capable of still breathing and functioning in every day life.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

its funny cuz i laughed!

thumb_up thumb_down -17

And riiight after you... Hey its always ladies first.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops