what did the guy do at the funeral? cry because his wife died

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a chicken crosses the street to ask a man: what is an anti-joke? the man replies: a joke the chicken responds: so why do they call it an ANTI-joke? the man answers: why did the horse walk into a bar? the chicken retorts: you can't answer a question with a question! the man replies: you're a figment of my imagination, nah nah nah nah i can't hear you.

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Q: Why did the girl have dirty knees? A: Cause she was dragged through the forest and raped.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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What do tomatoes, apples, oranges, lemons, and peaches have in common? They are all fruits.

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The Irishman walked out of the bad.. Haha just kidding

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what did the boy with no arms and legs get for his birthday just dance 3

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What's better than fornicating two 4 year old twins? Killing their parents in front of them before you do.

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Why are anti jokes so funny? Because they are not

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Why did the boy cross the street He didnt he got hit by a plane instead

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What did chad do when his friends came over? I'm not much of a fiction man personally.

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Why did the chicken commit suicide? To get to the other side.

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poop

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Stop with the 9/11 jokes guys. They're just plane stupid.

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Why did the person have a scrape on their elbow? Because they fell down.

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Why did the kitten cross the road? Because its owners abandoned it.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: He was being taken to the slaughter house

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While I was having sex... Just kidding, I can't get laid.

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What do you do if you find blood in your poo? Stop stabbing yourself in the arse with a fork on wednesdays...

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Roses are red My bulb is blue My pants are extending When I look at you

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Q: What has the exact same colors as the gay flag but are sometimes hilarious? A: Clowns.

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Why I am at the hospital now: True as it gets. I found on my working desk a small box of fluoride pills, I was like meh, but it said banana, strawberry, mint and pear, so I was like yeah! And grabbed a mouthful before going URGH! Then my friends entered laughing saying "I hope you do well on that test tomorrow!" So yeah, I passed out, and it turns out my "friends" (victims ill torture to they beg for death). 80 MG OF VALIUM!!! Yeah good trucking luck on my test eh? I nearly died twice, somehow, I think I should ask doc if my heart is okay or something, my head is fucked up the floor is all wavy and I cant differentiate numbers Seriously, one guy was gonna come visit say sorry, but he sent his girlfriend instead... My wife was so worried, that when I said: Mind if I have my vengeance by screwing his girlfriend? My wife said: I was so worried, you still okay? That actually sounds like a good scheme... So, yeah... I am typing this because, I am totally going to have a threesome... When and if my ever wakes up again... She agreed... She was always kinda into me but still! If you dont understand this, well... Next time, if you want to poison me, USE SOMETHING THAT KILLS ME! BECAUSE I WILL BE BACK!

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What do you call a deer with one eye? Injured.

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What would Chuck Norris do if you insulted him? Nothing. He probably doesn't have time for such foolishness.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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