Why did the pirate get kicked out of the pirate movie? He killed 7 people while looking for treasure under the seats.

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A man walked into a bar. That must have really hurt him.

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Man: Doctor, everything I touch hurts. Doctor: Okay. Let's test it out by first touching your leg. Man: It hurts. Doctor: What about your arm? Man: It hurts as much. Doctor: What about your back? Man: It still hurts. Doctor: I see......your fingers are broken.

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What is funnier than a dead baby? almost everything. there is nothing funny about a dead baby.

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roses are red violets are blue tis poem makes no sense so screw you

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A pizza has cheese on it.

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What do you call white trash Garbage

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Jack and jill went up a hill to get some water. Jack fell down, twisted his ankle, and continued to roll. He broke his spine and collar bone and he was later taken to the hospital. Later that night he died because the doctors couldn't do anything. Jill then killed herself in mourning.

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A man walks into a bar. He is then taken to a near by hospital where he is treated for a concussion.

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Why did the man pull out his chainsaw? To get rid of a tree in his front yard.

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So a pirate walks into a bar. He sits down and orders a drink. The bartender then looks down and realizes that the pirate has a steering wheel on his penis. "Sir, are you aware that you have a steering wheel on your penis?" the bartender asks. "Arrrrrrr! It's driving me crazy! I just woke up one day and it was there!" The pirate replied. "Well you should probably get that checked out soon, it looks like it could be very harmful to your health and slightly uncomfortable. Not to mention your penis is out in the open." "You are right, what was I thinking?" The pirate agreed. He proceeded to get his friend to drive him to a hospital, for drinking and driving is not safe, and steering wheels on penises are not healthy.

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Once upon a time, a duck named Jim went to work, he went up to the steps to his new job and and he was paid all day to sit in a hot tub. Little did he know it was a boiling pot and he was served at Christmas dinner

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a white men said to another white men that someone robbed a bank, it was at night and he wasn't wearing a mask, and also the camera couldn't see him, they now found out that he was black.

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What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff.

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When did joseph the deer learn to fly? - Never, deer can't fly

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What is 1+4x : No i will not take my pants off!

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A woman leaves the kitchen.

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A kid has no friends.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares what a Chicken does?

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Why did old Dorris shit herself? Because Margaret fell over.

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Why did the little girl go to the hospital?........................Beacuse she fell when trying to steal cookies out of the cookie jar on top of the fridge.

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Hey, Batman Yeah? Knock Knock Who's there? Not your parents!

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What did muscleman say to his dad? You know who else is my dad? MY MOM!

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Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M's factory? For throwing away all the W's

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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