A blind man walked past a fish store. For a second he thought it might be a womens vaginal odor, but then concluded it was most likely a fish store, and went on with his day.

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The Big Band Theory

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Why did the man go to the doctors? He was concerned about his health.

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whats funnier than 24? 25

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a. why? b. because

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True or False : it would not cause a public disturbence to express your P0rnagraphy to the public??? true. P0rnagraphy is the freedom of speech and ability to express oneself

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Why did the kid throw a clock out the window? The kid was probably having a temper tantrum and it was an expression of frustration.

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Why are there so many smiths in the phonebook? Because they all have phones.

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Hitler.. Hitlar... Hillar... Hillary Clinton

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What did the devout Catholic man say to his gay neighbours who just got married? "Congratulations!"

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Is your refrigerator running? Yes. That always nice, you dont want your dairy products to spoil.

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If you are swimming in a tree how many dogs does it take to crack a duck? The answer is 4 because nothing rhymes with orange

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On a scale from 1-10, what is your favorite color of the alphabet?

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why ya gotta be so rude? cause i can

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What is white And taste like sheep A sheep

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what did the african say when he got cancer? what? i don't know, he said it in african.

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walk into your friend’s house and say “what’s up with the dead guy out front?” (you have to murder a person for this joke to work)

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knock! knock! Whos there? Chris Hansen..

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LO LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOPLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOO O O O O O O OLO LOL OL O LO LO LO L OL O LO LO L OL O LO L OL O LO LO L OL OL O LO LO L OL OL OL O LO L OL OL O L OL OLLOLOLLOL OL O LO LO L OL OL O

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Robert Mugabe.

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The Charlotte Bobcats

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have you seen the movie, Constipated? Never mind, it hasn't come out yet.

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A man named Carl walks into a bar and sees another man named Ed who has purple skin and is holding a chinchilla in one hand and a policeman's helmet in the other. Carl approaches Ed and asks, "Why is your skin purple and why are you holding a chinchilla in one hand and a policeman's helmet in the other?" Ed replies stating, "Well its actually a pretty funny story. I was sailing near cape cod and a saw a large whale jump out of the water, and that gave me a really good idea. So I sailed home immediately and wrote a very detailed novel about my days in Vietnam. The book was a success and I was able to make a large amount of money. However, unfortunately I became addicted to cocaine and wasted all of my money and had to live on the streets. Since then, I have cleaned up my act and am working again and have a house. I decided to treat myself to a night out and so I came here and painted myself purple. Then, I found this chinchilla and policeman's helmet on the floor and decided to hold onto it until I find the owner. Now that I think about it, that story isn't very funny. I apologize." Carl then accepted the apology and the two had a drink together and are still good friends today.

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Q: How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Well considering the weight of a fly is 1.2 grams, and the weight of a light bulb is 50 grams (and this is assuming that the fly can lift its own body weight) it would take 41.6 flies. But also considering the fact, that the .6th of a fly is impossible, because it is more than likely to be deceased, it is impossible for flies to screw in a light bulb.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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