Why did the girl buy the watermelon? To eat it.

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What do you call a disease caused by an uncontrolled division of abnormal cells in a part of the body? Cancer.

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Yo momma is so ugly that shes been taking self acceptance classes for her very low self esteem which is only one of many side affects shes had from years of bad relationships and being told she was and infact still is horrifically ugly its a truly sad thing and being the child of her you should be ashamed that you have not worked to help raise her self esteem

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Why did the chicken invent a memory ereaser machine? So he could erease everyone's memory so they would stop making chicken jokes

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Whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew? Jews are people

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What do you call a fish with no fins? Dead.

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An orphan walks into a bar. The bartender calls Child Protective Services and is given to a nice foster family.

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how many mexicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 283,000,322,249,390

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What do you call a room with a white man a black man and a hot pocket? A reasonable meal

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Why did the maths book commit suicide? It wanted to be history

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When was George Washington born? Who the hell knows. He's older than dirt.

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God is the English name given to a singular being in theistic and deistic religions who is either the sole deity in monotheism, or a single deity in polytheism. He (I use the term 'He' as it is the most common conception) is said to be omniscient, omnipotent, omnipresent, and omnibenevolent. I highly doubt he will give you lemons.

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Q: What do a hockey coach and a bar stool have in common? A: because seven ATE nine

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Robert: wanna hear a joke? Robort:ok, shoot. Robert: *BANG!*

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Whats the difference between a Preius and a vagina? One's the possibly the greatest invention of all time and possibly the only hope for the future of man kind. The others a Preius.

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(SAY KATCHUP AND LICKER AFTER EVERY SENTENCE) FOR BREAKFEAST I HAD (KATCHUP AND LICKER) FOR LUNCH I HAD I SEE MY GIRL FRIEND AT THE MALL SO I (KATCH UP AND LICK HER

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A prostitution ring operates out of a subway. How much does the prostitute with a foot long penis cost? About $300, for a 12 inch penis is very rare and desirable.

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How did the young boy cross the road? He was stapled to the chicken.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There was food on the other side

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What's the number 1 tip to burning stomach fat? Lighting yourself on fire.

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Ask me If I am an orange? Are you and Orange? No

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why did the panda and puppy get into a fight? how should i know, you tell me.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One asks the other "Isn't it hot in here?" To which the other replies, "Holy ****, a talking muffin!"

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What did Billy Mays eat for breakfast? nothing, he's dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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