What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? Given the unlikely circumstance in which an elephant actually does sit on your fence, it is equally unlikely said elephant would be able to do so unseen by witnesses, of whom you may ask what time the event occurred. Assuming your witness thought to look at the time befor calling animal control.

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What do you call a dear with no eyes? no eyed dear what do you call a dear with no head? dead!

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? That boy that dropped a perfectly good ice cream cone from a road accident involving a bus due to lack of road safety awareness Oh yeah, and I guess the fact that he probably died or was injured for life is pretty bad too

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Why didnt the 14 year old get her period? Because she had gotten pregnant by her father

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Why didn't the man fall off his bicycle? Because He wasn't riding a bicycle!

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Q: Why did the black man have a gun? A: We was recently indicted for insider trading and preferred suicide to a long prison sentence.

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HITLER IS SO SEXY I WOULD PAY A MILLION DOLLARS TO HAVE SEX WITH HIS DEAD HOT BODY WHENEVER I THINK ABOUT HIM I SPRAY MY SEMEN ALL OVER MY JEWISH SLAVES YUMMY HITLER JUST MAKES ME WANT TO BITE HIS ROTTING PENIS OFF AND FORCE IT IN THE EYE SOCKET OF A JEWISH PERSON AND THEN I CUM IN HIS EYESOCKET

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being sober in a bar fight

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What do you do when the Cubs win the world series? Turn the xbox off and go to bed.

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What's green, three feet tall, and can live forever? Definitely not Julie Andrews.

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I like my women like I like my coffee... 2 cream 1 sugar.

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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women's rights

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How do you wake up Lady GaGa you set her alarm clock to a reasonable time

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Why did the man drive into the river? He was sleep deprived from working overtime.

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do you wanna hear a joke school

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Why did Jane's parachute not open? Because a plane hit her on the way down.

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Knock Knock! FUUCKKKK OFFFFFFFF

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Q: what do u call a plane that flies A: a plane

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What did the camel say to the polar bear at the bar? "Uuuhhrrhrhhh"

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What do dogs and keyboards have in common? Nothing.

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Why did the white kid tear up while watching a segment on slavery? He got something in his eye.

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Did you hear about the sick juggler? Turns out he had cancer on his brain tumour.

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i keep getting thumbs down...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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